and to all those who have some issue with me, sorry but it is your issue.
I have lived my life in apologies for not being what others wanted me to be for them. No more, if I have let you down, sorry, if I did not live up to what you perceived of me also sorry, but I will no longer be sorry for being who I am and for what I do, if it is not enough for you, move on.
I have some wonderful believers in me and they keep me going and honest, with out them I would be consumed by the need of others, THANK YOU friends and I will always be there for you too.
BUT: I am horrible for caring guilt for things I was expected to do or because I felt that I could not deliver what I wanted to do. It is so unproductive and has eaten away at me for so long, that I just cannot take it any more.
I am a good strong forthright and determined woman, I aim to please and provide what is needed in the moment. But I cannot be every thing to every one and if you expect me to be I will let you down.
I am a good spiritual councilor; I help many people out of the Tierney into clarity if they really want to move forward. I can only help if asked and I can only help if people are willing to take a step forward. I believe in what I do, I am guided by the powers that be, and in those moments I fully live my truth.
I also take peoples pain on, if they are disappointed and hurt I feel it, I become the fighter for them, but find it hard to release that pain. My joy in life is to see people that I have helped stride forward in life with confidence, embracement and in truth knowing that in some way I had a small part in it.
I see things in people that they do not always want me to see. I see their truth but also their lies. Some people get uncomfortable with me because they feel vulnerable with me and think that this is a weakness, but it is not. For some showing them their truth is showing them possibilities they never knew they had, opening a door to great expectation.
To be vulnerable and give up the control is to be empowered with a freedom that gives you the trust to go where control wont allow you to go. To know the truth you must want to hear it, to know the way you see things you must want to see it, and to have the freedom of feeling you must want to feel it no matter what.
As I say to those that I work with, first one must face our inner demons, once you have come to terms with that and have let them go thus disempowering them, then you have to trust the Gods enough to step out into the Abyss in trust faith and conviction. In other words go blind so that you may see what they want you to see, deaf so that you will hear their voices and dumb so that you can feel the knowledge not preconceive it. Is this hard? Yes to start with, but once you have crossed that barrier you live in an honestly that gives you the answers that you seek.
I have made this journey and have helped many others to do the same. There is no quick fix, no fast track, you have to let go in order to hold on, believe in order to see what it is that you need to see and trust to know in what direction to go.
I am in the back ground so that is why I do not look important, I am your secret and your truth and if you can’t embrace the path that lays before you, I am also your nightmare. I am strong and dogmatic, I am pushy but caring, I am a pain but a needed one to make you walk forward into your future of purpose and truth.
Can you live a lie all your life? Yes if your life is just simple and you do not have high expectations, nothing wrong with that. But the people I deal with are the ones with a journey to take; one that is of purpose and need, so they cannot avoid me or their lies for the truth will be out.
So who am I what am I doing what purpose am I? I am your conductor on the train, your maestro, your nagging hunger, your open door, your opportunity to start living your life in honesty truth purpose and passion, I help you on the road to peace and freedom.
But I do not have a piece of paper to confirm who I am, or an office or letters by my name. I am a guide for the Gods, just that a conduit, I am the person you must just simple trust alone the way to help redirect you to a better life. I am the person whom you need for a period of time and then forget when you are on your way. I am simple but firm, I am directional and have conviction in what I see and say.
So why am I in business? Why am I not just a spiritual counselor? Well because I have been given a job to do, that job is to guide, build and nurture extraordinary talent to fruitation. How by presenting it to those who may see it, to protect it from idiots, to feed it till it can stand on its own 2 feet. Persons, ideals, business or project, it is all the same, if it needs to be liberated then that is my job. How in whatever way they wish on me, my purpose is to free talent and develop opportunities, then I am done.
I was asked what do I want for me, well a nice home, car, to be able to take people out and spoil them, to help my children foundate their futures, to secure my mother, brother, sister, to know that I do not have to worry about money any more but just pass on the smiles. I don’t need big glory or high recognition. I know that I am background material, the prodder, the dragger the persuader the protector, I am there when you need me but forgotten when you don’t, that is o.k.
So next time you find me too pushy, ask what it is you are trying to avoid? Next time I don’t fit in to your box, stop trying to make me, next time I don’t live up to all your expectations of me, remember I am here to the Gods work but I am still human so stop expecting too much.
Oh yes, I too some times have need of some strength, an ear a strong arm around me, reassurance don’t be afraid to provide it, because I am also human sensitive and some times insure also aren’t we all!!!!!!!
By Sara Towe