I have been dead for so long now, chasing a dream that I so believed in and still do. But I allowed it to consume me to dictate my person and along the way I lost my self.
The road back is a hard one even if you have the tools to do it with. My heart was dull my spirit nearly broken and my belief shaken. Now in this New Year I am feeling slowly awoken. I do not why nor do I want to know, just want to trust this feeling and let it grown within me. I want to feel life again to feel woman, to know my spirit can dance again and to know why I am here.
We have to be so careful that we stay true to our selves for it is so easy to get lost in our belief and passion that we forget the why we are doing it or with whom. I need a whom in my life, a love that embraces me for whom I am and what I do. A person so strong in their persona that he is my strength when needed and shares my vision if not my conviction to my desired work.
I need laughter it has been so long to long since I knew joy since I felt life, since I wanted to. Slowly bit by bit I feel life knocking at my door wanting to come in and take me in its arms again.
Could I be waking up again would I know what joy is again? Am I awake enough to know if it there?
I said slowly so slow I will go, just knowing that I am awaking is enough how what where will come, for now I will let my life enter me once more bit by bit sure footed and here to stay, so that I need never feel alone again or lost numb and empty.
Teaching gives me strength my friends are my rock my family my pain and love. I will walk again in the light in a love and spirit that keeps me feeling life.
Thank you to all those that have been there for me in any way, you have given me a reason to keep walking forward now in hope and seeing the hope that waits for me.
I live on in wonderment of what my senses may feel tomorrow and each day after that, for 2012 is the awakening year for so many and indeed for me again.