Calling on Millennial and Generation X’s

Are you a MILLENNIAL? or a Generation X?  do you have a message to impart to your generation? do you wish to speak to what inspires you and share those vibrant beliefs with others? do you want to invite conversation? are you respectful of your elders wisdom do you know how to cross the age boundary? Is your message liberating, authentic, and illuminating?

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If this is you and you think you can host your own radio/video blog show, we have an opportunity for you to express your life’s views and interview guests with enlightening ideas that serve us and all mankind. We do not feed the negative or sensationalized hysteria, but the people who are out there making a difference in the world, one person at a time or one mountain at a time.

Our youth are the leaders of tomorrow and we need your voice, your ideas, your creativity, share it, inspire it, and invite it with your own show right here on Self Discovery Radio.

Please do contact me for we embrace your platform.
Embrace your D.I.V.A = Dreams, Inspiration, Vision, Aspiration and ignite the D.I.V.A in others to be set free. 

Generation X Millennials
Born 1965-1976
51 million
Born 1977 – 1998
75 million
Accept diversity
Pragmatic/practical
Self-reliant/individualistic
Reject rules
Killer life
Mistrust institutions
PC
Use technology
Multitask
Latch-key kids
Friend-not family
Celebrate diversity
Optimistic/realistic
Self-inventive/individualistic
Rewrite the rules
Killer lifestyle
Irrelevance of institutions
Internet
Assume technology
Multitask fast
Nurtured
Friends = family
Mentoring Do’s
· Casual, friendly work
environment
· Involvement
· Flexibility and freedom
· A place to learn
Mentoring Do’s
· Structured, supportive work
environment
· Personalized work
· Interactive relationship
· Be prepared for demands, high
expectations

 

http://selfdiscoveryradio.com  info@selfdiscoveryradio.com 

Producer /Host

Sara Troy 

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Happening All at Once.

You can go for days weeks, months, and even years and nothing happens and then all of a sudden it happens all at once. Opportunity comes knocking and you have to get into action fast.

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Well this is happening to me, for the last three and half years I have been building my presence on radio blogging bring you people of wisdom, love, spirit, business, politics, divine knowledge and with those with wonderful tools and services to help us grow on our own journey of life.

First year I was with another network learning my trade, now for over two and half years with my own network and with over 1300 collective hosts’ shows, I truly can say we built this network one show at a time. So many inspiring people making life choices that not only serving themselves in living a better life  but also in serving mankind, what an honour, what an inspiring journey to take, what a fabulous career.

So the next phase that just happened because of a conversation with another radio host and “Women Wellness over 40 and Beyond E. Magazine” owner Lynnis Woods-Mullins, which led to a joint venture that just made sense and gives these all these incredible people to do both interviews creating even more coverage and more opportunities to reach out to help even more people, WOW! Why not, so we have done it.

The Christmas magazine issue will be out in December, but we are now booking for the January issue, we are introducing this concept of a written article in the magazine, a radio interview, and an advertisement with video options at a very low cost. You get 3-4 times more coverage, speaking to those eager and ready to read, listen, view and buy ones product/service all in one stop shopping, how easy is that!

I did not know which direction I was going in, I knew I wanted to expand with hosts into the UK, Australia, and also invite a younger generation like Millennials and the Generation X to have a voice too. I know speaking engagements are coming up and travel next year to the UK and who knows where, but I love it when the universe says, WAIT I HAVE SOME THING FOR YOU and now you’re traveling another road of creative opportunity which is exciting and engaging and so very INVITING.

We can put out to the universe our desires, our wishes, our vision of our dreams, but we have to be open to how and in what package it will come, for that we have no control over nor are we meant to. Life is exciting and I am open to receive all and in every positive way, growth and liberation of mind body spirit and soul so we can all together bring joy, collaborative purpose, and meaningful peace to this planet and to our hungry souls.

Come see what it is all about and see if it is of interest to you and or your organization, we do have organization packages. Life is good and possibilities happen when we embrace opportunities.

Sara Troy

Producer/Host of Self Discovery Radio.

http://selfdiscoveryradio.com/

http://selfdiscoveryradio.com/2015/10/21/wellness-woman-40-and-beyond-magazine/

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DO YOU WANT TO SEND THEM BACK TO THIS?

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I am very disturbed by the reaction to refugees on facebook in particular, painting them all with a terrorist brush is wrong and lacks compassion for people running from hell and sure death. Our reactions right now show the world our compassion, our true colours and our true character, be mindful and be kind and understand in every society there are terrorists of some kind, those who shoot people in theatres and schools for a grudge, those who join ISIS who are western and european nationals, those who support them with money and arms, stop blaming migrants and refugees for it all, there is scum in every barrel, look to the bigger picture, the lives at risk, the children in fear and ask yourself, what kind of human being are you to turn your back on them? To ignore their plight is an act of terror in itself.
Time to show love, healing love and come together in a love so strong that it will defeat isis in the end for they can’t terrorize if we always look to peace loving healing love.

We are defined by our thoughts our words our action, let them be ones of love kindness in embracement and not of fear and loathing.

Sara Troy

 http://selfdiscoveryradio.com/about-us/self-discovery-hosts/meet-sara-troy/

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Coming Home to my Divine Purpose.

I have recently been going through a soul cleanse with Lidia Antunes-Frederico, she has cleaned out past imprints that were stopping me from receiving and growing. It has been such a wonderful experience I HAD TO SHARE IT.

Child-of-the-Universe-Josephine-Wall-672x372She took me to my childhood to see my inner child, find a happy childhood experience she says, well I found some, but they were always of me alone, but not lonely. I realise that my existence has always been to fly, I come from the sky the universe and my soul spirit and heart are there. As a child I played with dead people, their energy and thought nothing of it, I flew up into the universe with complete ease, I saw things and counselled people from a very young age and I always knew because of my knowing ness. I was soul free and with divine love never alone.

But; I grew up in a world of hate, judgement, fear and lack of soul knowledge. My job has always to be an awakener of souls of other awakeners, from the beginning of my time that has been my role. To show the souls how to connect, to show them their possibilities, to show them the path for which they are meant to walk on, it has been my many life time roles.

But, the world became dark thunderous loud and disconnected. The flight or fight mode became all too prevalent and people lost their belief in a wonderful life and soul connection. One of the things I have not enjoyed is feeling the soul pain of others, feeling their hopelessness, and with time and many life times I too began to feel that way and because of it lost my way. I became disconnected to my soul, my heart became painful to feel, my spirit broken and my mind filled with confusion, fear hate loss and loneliness. I was lost.

In 1994 wonderful women freed me of 172 past lifetimes, of a pattern that was blocking me from embracing my purpose my spirit. It was a wonderful experience to be reborn, to discover me, not my past patterning. I felt my heart grow once again filled with love, my soul had a voice once again and connected me to my divine home, my spirit could fly again and my mind just let go, let go, let go. I was me, the me I was meant to be, the me who was free.

Then it was decided that I needed to be grounded, to connect with this earth and feel its pain, oh so painful so heavy too loud, it hurt me it brought me back down and I fought to be free again. It has been 9 years now, I have learnt what I needed to know from being grounded, but it is my time to fly again, but I had forgotten how. I was a Phoenix always being able to go and get me the knowledge and bring it back, but I could not fly anymore.

This where Lidia comes in, through her working with me, she removed some elements that were still deep in me and stopping me from receiving. Since she has done that it has opened an appreciation for my work and being for which I am not accustomed too. I am suddenly heard and seen and acknowledge, normally that is me advocating for everyone else for that is what ‘Self Discovery Radio” does. I am receiving beautiful notes from people I have interviewed, being put in the books in acknowledgment, they are posting my stations link and logo for others to find on their sites, and becoming supported in my work bringing you people like Lidia to your attention, and I have to say, it is so nice to be seen and heard.

In one of my meditations of Lidia’s it took me home, I have been for so long now be begging to go home to the universe to once again connect my soul to the source, but I had lost my wings and how to fly. In her medication she took me back but more to where I belong now and in what role. Oh I am so in love with my purpose, my very purpose in being, I see my role and now because of being set free again, I am now understanding, even more, my divinity.

downloadI saw a tree a golden crystal tree willowing its branches down to earth, each branch with my love and divine energy on feeding the souls who will now be the awakeners, giving them my love and strength to fuel the world with love and vision. I am in a crystal realm filled with colourful fractal crystal diamonds creating a home in which to base myself on, I am home in the universe connecting to the awakeners and I am free of the thunder of earth, this is my place, this is my purpose, this is my divine role, to serve those who guide others to freeing their souls and connecting with the divine source of home.

As I dance in freedom with the colours of the Northern Lights and the Angels of life, I feel the universal love, I feel the divine energy, I feel my presence I know my existence. I now can freely give myself to my work, supporting the awakeners the liberators, the guides of spirit heart and soul and know that the universe will provide for my needs for I am doing what I was put on earth to do, be the awakener of awakeners and the work they do.

I know I need to dance again, I need music back in my life, I need to fly in my sky and dance amongst the energy beams and play with the Angels and feel my knowingness again. I need to trust my freedom and the people who come into my life, as a friend, an awakener, or as an advocate, we need to support each other, for we all have a divine role and in that, we find our peace, our joy, and our reason for being.

Thank you, Lidia, for setting me free, thank you, everyone, for believing in me and for acknowledging my purpose in supporting you and the divine work you do, we are in this together and united we rise and energies this world into all its beauty and glory.

Sara Troy

Producer/host of Self Discovery Radio

http://selfdiscoveryradio.com

For Lidia’s show with me please do tune in and set your soul free,

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The Guru at Your Feet

“Animals are such agreeable friends—they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” ­~George Elliot

download (3)           My dog is a thirteen-year-old, 113-pound chocolate Labrador named Cookie. Cookie has hips and knees in worse condition than any retired NFL football player. In fact, he has real difficulty just getting up on his feet. Once he is up, if his weight shifts too quickly, he often falls because either his hips or knees—or both—don’t support his weight. However, I notice that when he falls, he simply looks up at me and wags his tail. He has never once made a big deal about it. He never once has said to me, “Oh my God, my hips aren’t going to last much longer,” or “I am such a burden on everyone.” He simply gets back up on his feet and moves on about his business.

Cookie’s unconditional acceptance of himself and his physical condition have taught me as much as any spiritual teacher I have been with because his lessons are actual and in the moment. One day, Cookie is going to depart from his big body and—as with other pets I have had in the past—he will remain present and non-judgmental throughout the process.

L-141907-1247141335.png           The passing of my earlier pets also taught me something amazing about language. In each instance, I was immediately thrown into a sense of confusion and loss accompanied by grief. Eventually, I discovered that these feelings bubble up because we live our lives inside of language, which endeavors to make everything definable, understandable, and graspable by the mind. Language, as important as it is to carry on the affairs and commerce of everyday life, cannot express, articulate, or bring understanding to the experience of losing a pet or loved one.

Could it be that what we perceive as a departure is actually a returning or a reunion for your pet? If we can maintain our emotional balance during these times of change, we may be able to discover something other than what we can perceive—or describe—as happening. “Dogs are our link to paradise,” wrote Milan Kundera. “They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring—it was peace.”

As we seek and strive for spiritual understanding, we often pursue virtues that will help free us from our own difficulties. These spiritual qualities have been enumerated time and again and are consistent among the world religions. Here are just a few of these liberating qualities:

  • Being present
  • Release of negative judgments on self and others
  • Forgiveness and understanding
  • Appreciation for what you have
  • Loss of identification as a separate Ego
  • Following your intuition

portal-graphics-20_1158648a            I believe there is perhaps no better teacher of these qualities than the animal at your feet or on your pillow. Pythagoras may have stated it as simple and clear as anyone when he said, “All living things should be regarded as akin.”

When we take the time to observe our pets, we will notice that he or she already possesses the spiritual traits we are all seeking. So before we go in search of our next great spiritual teacher, let’s check in with our animal. We will soon realise we’re living with a natural guru who teaches by example.

By Allan Hendrickson.

AUTHOR BIO

Allan Hendrickson is a spiritual teacher, writer, and speaker based in Oklahoma City. He is the author of Think It, Feel It, Have It: The Keys to Creation. www.allanhendrickson.com

 Hear Allans radio spot with Sara Troy on “Choose Positive Living”  show on Self Discovery Radio. 

 http://selfdiscoveryradio.com/2015/06/04/c1524b-think-it-feel-it-have-it-2/

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What is Self Discovery Radio about?

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Self Discovery Radio, is it just another radio blog? I believe not, I am the producer and host on Self Discovery Radio, and I am proud of what we are bringing to you.

5 years ago I started on a radio blog called Authentic You, doing live shows, now with my own station going into its 4th year (it was PLV Radio before) we have over an 1800 shows under our belt and I have had the honour of speaking with some extraordinary people doing brilliant things in this world.

We cover all avenues from the divine to health to inner wealth to conscious business to science to current issues to technology and innovations to philosophy and philanthropy that inspire a better world. Our guests are liberators, mentors, healers, speakers, coaches, carers, authors, leaders, teachers, inspirers and all are. They have embraced their redirect and now in honour of their soul heart spirit and an open mind, they are living their lives in purpose and inner truth.

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We learn from them each and every week, so many stories that show us our way forward in our own lives, so much courage in embracing their demons their challenges and rising up to be the love joy of living and living in meaningful purpose.

I have some fabulous hosts who contribute weekly with their knowledge and that of their wonderful guests. They are living in their truth and sharing that knowingness with the world. They are knowledgeable and so much fun.

I invite you to come see what we are about. We are not just fabulous radio shows filled with incredible stories, we also have a “Being Fund-Action” initiative that supports people in need on their own journey. We raise funds that then hires the talented experts in our “Self Discovery Directory”. We share with you the people who are here to help and we fund their services to those who need help finding their way to wholeness. Coming soon.

The circle of life, first receive and then re-give for once we are fortitude we need to fortify those in need so they to can contribute to the world. We are the answer to what ails the world and it all starts with us, heal thyself, become soul abundant, live in real authenticity by embracing our true purpose and be a solution to your global community.

Self Discovery where the discovery of S.E.L.F (Soul, Empowered, Loving Fulfillment) is but a show away. Discovering your S.E.L.F

Come join us and take a journey of wonderment and inspiration.

http://selfdiscoveryradio.co

For more info please fill out the form.

 

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Self-Discovery Directory.

We at Self-Discovery Radio celebrates D.I.V.A,s

D.I.V.A is a Dreamer who Inspires Vision into Aspirations

d-image-white-people-blue-folder-renderer-examines-background-49352115You cannot embrace your D.I.V.A until you have embraced your S.E.L.F self, enabling, life, force.

Self Discovery Hosts and our members of the Self-Discovery Directory are people who have embraced their journey and what they are truly here for, now with their expertise they are here to help others find their direction in life. Each Self-Discovery member will be interviewed and have their own directory page highlighting their expertise and what they offer you. You cannot be a member unless you have had an interview and embraced your redirect in life. We will only accept people and organizations we understand to be authentic in their persona and their chosen purpose.

The Directory is in process and will be live mid summer.

If you think you are a D.I.V.A who has embraced your path and purpose and now wish to be of aid to the people of the world, do contact me.

There is an annual fee which includes the interview, your company’s portfolio and and what you offer your clientele.

Directory will cover these genres.

Health. Spiritual Awareness. Conscious Businesses. Relationships. Social Media/Communications. Sciences. Energy Healing. Ghost Writers/authors. Music. Arts/Entertainment. Coaching. Self Beliefs. Animal Well-being. Children/Parenting. Global Concerns.

For more enquirers go to 

info/@selfdiscoveryradio.com

http://selfdiscoveryradio.com

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What is Anxiety and Depression and can we just snap out of it?

11009931_10152879478691415_3095726195283159766_nFor me No, I can’t, it is very hard to come out of a dark cloud and the feeling of despair. For me I know it is a case of chemical imbalance which takes me over and eats away at my gut and very being.

People see me as someone who is always upbeat positive and with a believing of living life, only some know of my darkness that I live in. Many do not want to know, they like the person who goes after life and believes in what is possible no matter how many times I get knocked down. It is not that they don’t care but that they do not know what to say or do about it when I am in darkness.

I discovered through my Wise Health host Suma Nathan on PLV RADIO a product a natural nutrient called Q96 that feeds the brain and rebalances our equilibrium. This product works and for 4 months I kept my anxiety at bay.   Even though physiatrist are finally understanding the benefits to this nutrient, it is still far from the main stream and supported by medical. It was great having the 4 months of anxiety and depression gone, and no matter what family crises, running a radio station, renewing a business, finding a new home etc., it got me through and for that I am grateful.

download (1)It is not all bad, something always good comes out of it if we survive it, I got offered a radio show 3.5 years ago that set me on this path that came from my depression, go figure. Comedians get their material from those dark places, it is just sometimes the darkness is too much and you can’t find your way back home. We have to be in purpose or we look at our lives as useless, we have to know we count or why be here and when in the darkness, there is no warmth no hand no touch to make you feel less alone, only the cold dark.

I am not like this all the time, it comes in waves, we do feel the pain in our bodies and mind soul and heart, it all hurts, sleep is so very important not so easy to do when you’re so down, or it is all you can do and not wake up to any possibility as your just too tried. There are many modalities that can help, this nutrient Q96, meditation, yoga, walks, dancing singing living, if you can overcome the pain enough. When in this state it is so very important that you be active in any way, find a purpose, make your self do something, put yourself around people that care, understand it is hard to be around jolly people if you feel no joy within, do not take it personally for we appreciate your efforts.

1382319_10151769344734023_593082588_nRemoving yourself from your direct pain is the key, go to a movie that removes you from you, do a sport, go for a run, help out somewhere, help someone else, that is what I love to do and it gives me a reason to still be here. Depending on if your nutrient low or struggling with mood swings that consume you, there is always an answer, look to your diet it is a key for your recovery. For me always has to be natural, I know that antidepressants make me worse and do not help in my recovery. I have to be natural, focusing and doing something outside of myself, I guess that is why I do the radio, I interview people who have overcome and I celebrate their D.I.V.A (dreams, inspirations, visions, aspirations) as it helps me find my own, plus I am so inspired by what they all bring to the table that the pride I have in my hosts and what the station stand for is a reason to fight this ugly disorder completely.

So I will overcome, I always do, time to be productive and override the pain, I have every reason to live as I have a purpose that is so much bigger than I, and knowing that these shows we do is helping people around the world find their own strength light and purpose is a reason to keep on fighting, even though I may need some help from time to time.

SO please don’t judge us for what we do, for sometimes it is out of our control, don’t tell us to snap out of it or be too aggressive with your solution, understand, anxiety and depression do HURT so help us heal with love support and belief in us and help us see the joy of life again so we may find the light once more.

I have done many shows on this from anti-bullying to featuring the Q96 and its results, you can find them at Positive Living Vibrations on http://selfdiscoveryradio.com

Check out the show and see if it can help you. mental-illness-is-a-nutrient-deficiency-disorder-q96-an-answer/

Don’t judge don’t demand just shed some light and help us back please.

Always a believer

Sara Troy.

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The Spiritual Bond Between Mother and I

My Mother Jo and I had a very spiritual bond, we believed in the same thing, a universal energy that united us, an energy we named God that loves and guides us in unity and purpose. We are both readers trusting the divine to talk to us through our soul and resonate with our heart to lift our spirit and open our minds. We both saw spirits and talk with the dead and we were perfectly ok with that.

scan0005I was so lucky my mother Jo and I got to travel together and go on adventures. She was so beautiful and young looking, people thought she was an older sister. We shopped together loving fashion, we dinned out exploring foods, we had parties together loving the process of putting a meal together and entertaining our friends, and we loved to dance.

I was 14 when we moved to South Africa, a place where my mother came alive. She discovered who she was and embraced life to its fullest, and for some years truly lived truly loved and truly explored life. She travelled she met people, she made lifelong friends and for some years forget she was shy and reserved. She loved acting and was an exceptional actress who could have in a different age gone so far in the industry. She wrote lovely stories one we all love Horatio Mouse about a mouse who takes over the jungle. She loved words, written, spoken, the puzzle of them, they came alive when she spoke them. Timing was never on her side, war, opportunities, love, all came at the wrong time and she missed out on showing the world her true gifts, but we saw them and we are blessed for it.

Many a man wanted to marry her, she bought out the gallantry in them, and unfortunately she lost loves due to death, she was so loved but never married again. Her marriage to our father was not the most suited and this left her mistrusting marriage, I also don’t think she truly believed any one really loved her for she never truly loved herself, which is so sad as there was so much to love of her.

I will carry with me for ever the joy of entertaining hosting a dinner party. The love of popping out for lunch and shopping for that fabulous outfit that made us feel great. I have carried on the joy of traveling with my one daughter and it is so much fun. The love of playing cards, Mum was a shark at cards, she played the little old innocent lady and won every time, the same with Scrabble for she loved words and found the most unusual words ones to play.

We have lived in different countries now for a long time, I would go home to see her she would come to see us. I so wish we were closer as we really loved many of the same things. My children loved her and loved visiting her in the UK to enjoy her food, soups, cakes, shepherd’s pie and card playing.

402226_10150733783802598_1838825093_nWe will be doing a tribute to her where we will cook the foods she made for us, play cards and celebrate the life of a woman who was well loved but sadly did not always know that. I prayed for her passing so she would not be in pain any more, I know she is with the collective energy, home in harmony in love of the divine joy, but I miss her, no more calls every week, no more visiting her.  Logic is ruling me but my soul is longing for her to contact me, she will, in time, but now party on dear Mama, for your life is now a joyful party of peace and everlasting love.

Always in my heart and soul

Sara your youngest daughter.

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The Long awaited Good-Bye to my Mother

I knew it was coming, I prayed for it, it is what was meant to be, and so why now am I numb and shaky over it?

mum-dadMy Mama Joanna passed February 13th 2015, she was 95 years old and bed bound for the last 6 years.

Mom and Dad at 27 and in love, now together.

Her body had given out, but she fought back with her mind and strong will to live, she said she wanted to die but was afraid, and because of that fear she made her self-terrified of dying. She was up to a few weeks ago, still in conversations with you, ate well, watch T.V and moaned about life. Then suddenly it changed, the body started breaking down fast, she could not eat, hearing sight speech all went and then the ability to swallow.

I put out a prayer request on Face Book, and over 70 people sent her written blessings in her crossing over peacefully, they took the time to write words not just click the like button, my Mama was dead within 24 hours and died peacefully. I am so grateful to everyone and their words of loving energy and in helping her see the Angels around her waiting for her.

The Angels have been there for a while, but could not take her till she was ready, with those energy blessings it gave Mama the light to crossover. She was on Morphine at the end, and this I believe broke down her fear barrier allowing her to see the Angels who were there for her.

My sister Jane and Brother Sam with Mama

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My sister said that is was a cold rainy day grey rain dull, but then suddenly the Sun came out and shone right above my Mothers head beaming down on her. She looked up the light and with open hands and eyes crossed over in peace, I had prayed for such a crossing, people had prayed for her peaceful crossing, and here it was. Thank you thank you thank you.

So our prayers answered, she has gone home to the cosmos and is partying it up with old friends, she is out of pain, and dancing again and feeling free at last. I do not worry about her now, I know she is in good hands, safe, loved, in truth and knowledge she is home.

I am rather surprised at my own reaction, I learnt of my Mamas demise by email, and was physically taken back, I immediately called my sister who told me what happened, but I had 5 appointments that day and no time to take it in. My son came over, with flowers bless him, but I had to look after his puppies while he ran an errand then it was all go going from one appointment to another. I went to all the appointments, and by the time I came home was feeling really shaky, fell up the stairs but had to cook so still no time to process.

My youngest daughter Tasha came over with flowers (forgoing a birthday party) bless her, and we drank Scotch to my Mama and talked about her and life. I really thought that when she was there I would cry buckets, but still no tears.

My eldest daughter is overseas, but so happens was of face book when I messenger, so glad we had that connect and she was there at that time.

My self with my Mama and Brother Sam

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The next day tired with no sleep, I was still shaking but no tears. Routine had to happen, dog to walk, food to cook, work to do. I was feeling numb, no tears a mixture of sadness and gladness, I had a long talk with my sister and emailed back and forth to my brother, worked, walked and still no tears. My neighbor joined me on my walk and came for tea, I needed company thank you Sharon, and your support was most welcome.

You see I am the one people call when this happens to them, I support them, help them get through it, I am not used to being on this side. It is quite lonely, I have had so many people reach out to me through face book and it means a lot to me, my friend Jan called and gave me strength, she had been there so she knows, she also was a country away when her Mama died and you do feel so disconnected. I am not going home, Mama did not want that, (I had visited last April as she wanted to see me while she was still ok) instead the Children and I are going to cook some of Mamas favorite foods , play cards and drink Scotch and celebrate her life.

My rational tells me she is in a better place and I know that, it was her time, and she was in pain. I wanted it for her and got it, but now it has sunk in that no more calls to her on a Saturday, no more speaking to her. My brother is free now having taken such good care of her for the last 6 years along with my sister. He is free to move on with his life, he had a heart attack last year and has not had time to really get over it because of looking after Mama, so now is his time to revisit his own life fully and completely for which I am grateful for. My sister moved into her new home and will be there for my brother, they have each other, they are lucky. Thank you both for the love and care you gave our Mama.

So knowing everyone is where they are meant to be, and feeling happy for them all, why do I feel so empty? When my father died I was 11 y/old, I apparently went to my Mama and said to her “God took the one that was the weakest and left the strongest to carry on” I forced tears then but knew my Dad was home and now at peace for he was not happy here on earth.

I cry at movies, commercials, beautiful pictures, puppies etc, so why can I not cry for my Mother? Will they come? Or am I so at peace with her crossing there are no tears for her? Or maybe the tears are for me and will come in a bazaar way at some time, hopefully not in the middle of an interview.

So I guess this feeling of lonesomeness will pass, tears will come and the sadness of me losing Mama will pass. My very good friend Jan is taking me to Mexico in March and there is a good place to allow my soul to truly feel.

photo joI will miss you Mama Jo, thank you for being my Mama, we will speak soon when you’re ready to reach out, I am ready to receive you. I love you now and forever, and will always remember your cheeky smile and your love for me.

95 years old was quite a triumph and you had an extraordinary life. Bless you and until we meet again.

Your loving daughter Sara

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