B17 foods. Cancer preventer.

These foods are known world wide for their aid in preventing cancer in humans and animals, and in the recovery of cancer patients. Mother natures nurturing.

FRIUTS. RANGE

BLACKBERRY DOMESTIC LOW
BLACKBERRY WILD HIGH.
BOYSENBERRY MED
CHOKE CHERRY HIGH
WILD CRAB-APPLE LOW
MARKET CRANBERRY LOW
SWEDISH CRANBERRY HIGH
CURRANT MED
ELDENBERRY MED – HIGH
GOOSEBERRY MED
HUCKLEBERRY MED
LOGANBERRY MED
MULBERRY MED
QUINCE MED
RASPBERRY MED
STRAWBERRIES MED

SEEDS. RANGE.
BUCKWHEAT HIGH
APPLE SEEDS MED
CHERRY SEED HIGH
FLAX SEED MED
MILLET MED
NECTARINE SEED HIGH
PEACH SEED HIGH
PEAR SEEDS HIGH
PLUM SEED HIGH
PRUNE SEED HIGH
SQUASH SEEDS MED

RANGE:
HIGH – ABOVE 500MGS, NITRILOSIDE PER 100 GRAMS OF FOOD
MEDUIM – ABOVE 100MGS PER 100 GRAMS OF FOOD.
LOW – BELOW 100 MGS, PER 100 GRAMS OF FOOD.

BEANS RANGE.

FAVA HIGH
GARBANZO LOW – MED
GREEN PEA LOW
KIDNEY LOW – MED
LENTILS MED
LIMA U.S LOW
LIMA BURMA MED
MUNG LOW
SHELL LOW

TUBERS RANGE

CASSAVA HIGH
SWEET POTATO LOW
YAMS LOW

NUTS ALL RAW RANGE

BITTER ALMOND HIGH
CASHEW LOW
MACADAMIA MED- HIGH

SPROUTS RANGE

ALAFALFA MED
BAMBOO HIGH
FAVA MED
GARBANZO MED
MUNG MED

LEAVES RANGE.

BEET TOPS LOW
EUCALYPTUS HIGH
SPINACH LOW
WATERCRESS LOW.

B 17 IS A GREAT WAY TO ENHANCE YOUR BODY-NEEDS. A DIET OF B 17 DAILY HAS BEEN LINKED TO PREVENTING CANCER. ALSO
RECOMMEND IS A CLEAN BODY (TOXIN FREE) AND HIGH NUTRITIONAL FOODS AND SUPPLEMENTS DAILY, ARE NEEDED TO BALANCE OUT THE NEEDS OF YOUR SYSTEM.

PROTECT AND ENHANCE YOUR BODIES NEEDS.
These are natural foods and not drugs, it is just mother nature offering her solution, so no drug claims here just common sense. They say God leaves a cure but a few feet from the decease if we will only see it. If a solution is in front of you will you open your mind to embrace it?

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A path chosen. revisited 4 years later

We think that we are in charge of our own destiny that we can choose which way we go in life, but I beg to differ. I do believe that we have a choice of rejection for a while, but that in the end, the path we have to take must be taken no matter what.

All that we need to know and where we are meant to go has been decided and is there for our given right to take and journey. Where do we go wrong? We do not listen nor pay attention to our calling in life for we are conditioned to hear other programming and follow other roads that society decides for us.

We are born, some into adversity some luxury some in just simple love. We have no choice who are parents are, or even if they want us or not. Our choice is in how we survive of thrive in these situations is up to us. You hear all the time how people from poor yet close loving families go on to do great things. Also those who are born to violence and hatred manage through all of that to escape and make a difference in their lives and those of people around them. And some times you hear of those lucky rich people who decide to take their riches and give back to society to thank it for the graces they where given.

No matter where to whom or how we are born, we all have to find are way in life and follow the calling of our purpose in order to make this world and our existence a better place to live in.

A key factor in life is trust. Trust of ones self and those we align are selves to, in our chosen faith, with out trust there can be no respect and with out that comes fear, complacency and hate. Value, of life, our selves and of our fellow man the earth and all creatures no matter how big, small, ugly or beautiful is the essential respect of all things living.

This story is of two different paths taken by two different people, who in each of their own ways traveled a path not right for them, only to find each other in the most unlikely place and to walk a walk that both were destined to walk together.

His grand father gave Bill a blond blue-eyed Irish Canadian from Toronto a gift at the age of 6. This gift could be considered a curse for its power and responsibility was of great burden indeed. Of what this gift is we only say that it is a gift that he can see things in people that they would not acknowledge in them selves. This gift had been past down from adult to child with in the blood line for a great time, and was always carried by a man, and was in all its greatness a heavy burden to carry.

Bill when he was 10 years old was in a water skiing accident that in actual fact he died from, only to come back to life to face the fact he might never walk again. Bill is of stubborn and strong willed mind, decides that this was not for him and taught him self how to walk through consciousness and seeing himself walk again. With this new strength and some wild oats to sow, Bill challenged himself into other adventures which he bares the scares and pains of today and will forever more. Was this his gift? To face death and come out the other side to challenge life once more? Or was this a lessen in survival and humility and compassion? Maybe of just simple strength of mind body and soul in order to know how far one can go and really survive life and embrace it in all its obstacles. Bill was given many gifts and one of them was tenacity and strength of character to live life in all its glory while never loosing sight of its vulnerability and its value.

Bill was also given friends that were true to his soul and heart, but sadly and tragedy died all way before there time. But just because some one passes over does not mean that they leave you, Bill was lucky to have these friends guide and love him through all his trials and tribulations as he is open to the world of the spirit where one does not die but exits in another form to guide us share and love us in our earthly journey.

Although Bill was not conventionally schooled, he excelled in learning, and by the age of 17 had two degrees one masters in mechanical engineering. Bill trusted the knowledge that came to him and new that some times he was just channeling the intuitive knowledge that was given to him for certain purposes. This made him and his family rich, a richness that he found based in lust and greed, and walked away from it all to discover his true value him self.

Bill married and through the next 18 years had nine children. But alas all good intentions have a price to pay, and this one played heavenly on his marriage. He had married a beautiful 18 years old and birthed nine children in the next 16 years. They were home schooled as he very much believes in the value of ones own strengths being allowed to grow rather than a curriculum that molds you to societies view point rather than your own God given abilities. He also ran very successful businesses, but at the age of 36 retired for a while to raise his children so as not to see their lives pass him by but to celebrate whom they are in all their natural glory. This in its self is a heavy load and both of them began to see that the journey that they both set out to take had in actuality taken them on separate paths. Both strong in spirit and mind, the pull of their destinies would split them apart for each to follow their own callings. The love they each had for their children and respect for each other’s talents bought them to an understanding that life apart was healthier for the family and they parted in an understanding and blessings for each other’s journeys.

Now enter Sara, the soul partner of Bill’s and a person who would inspire Bill to awaken his destiny and for fill his calling by an invention that would change the world of travel.

Bill had had a design for a motor in his mind for 27 years, but technology had to catch up with it and he had not had the opportunity to pursue it until Sara entered his life and awoke the desire to develop it. Bill had woken up every day for the last 10 years with one phrase in his mind, “feeding the minds that fuel our future” the true meaning of this was not totally apparent till he met Sara who’s own philosophy was to “Give back” by freeing the spirit and mind and igniting the soul of the lost spirits.

The two of them had known each other in a casual way in a coffee bar called Gallergers in B.C Canada. Sara had bought a puppy named Kokomo Gifu, and would now have to join the smokers out side rather than sit inside as dogs where not allowed in side. Kokomo was and still is the center of attention and it did not take long for Bill and Sara to openly talk in that communitive friendly way.

Sara was coming out of a 20-year marriage and was trying to rebuild her self and a business. Her passion was enlightenment of people’s awareness and help people understand where it is they were so they had a better understanding of where they were going. Sara a very intuitive spiritually minded soul herself, clicked with Bill, and through the years struck up a rapport that one-day would open them both up to higher possibilities.

By year 3 Sara had joined another gentleman in a business on importing electric bikes to North America. She had just come back from Taiwan, when she bumped into Bill (at the coffee shop) He asked what she was doing, as he had not seen her for a while, and when she told him of her new adventure, he told her of his experience in bikes, which she then invited him to advice them on the product before they went ahead with the adventure. This ended up be an invitation to join the company as Bill introduced his motor idea and one could see inherent abilities the motor could lead every one to. The other partner and his bikes fell by the way side, he could not get his funding and he disappeared into the sunset. But Bill and Sara saw a great world ahead, one were each others calling would be allowed to flourish and develop into some thing for the whole world to share in and grow in.

Now through much joy, pain sorrow and strife and tenacity, they would face the world of business. A world that has its own language and style of doing things. Both Bill and Sara are people who look for the honesty and good in people and although 95 % of the people backed the idea, they were not the ones with money. So through the mud they walked believing that the worlds need for this invention would open doors for them. They were sorely disappointed in the fear, narrow mindedness and ignorance that people of business finance have. Soon they were broke, all their private funding gone. Although frustrated and totally pissed of, they continued to push forward. They had both given up so much for this gift to the world; they could not give up now. Just a little more just a little longer, some one would show them the green light.

Now we wait, does the world want a gift from the heaven that releases them from the chains of oil and helplessness? Do people want to breath easier and have cleaner air? They believe yes, so down to their last dollar and with the losses behind them they wait for the heavens to open with hope that the green light will soon be on.

How far have you gone for some thing you believe in or some one? If you believe in it, you must be ready to sacrifice for it, for nothing ventured nothing gained, and if you do not know loss you can not know gain.

We never give up nor give in for we believe in you and we believe that your quality of life is worth fighting for.

Keep looking for us The Green Light

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Summer in Toronto • Tabytha Towe

It’s raining miserably today, but yesterday it was an atrocious scorcher and I had the best day off work here ever so far! It was bright and hot, I got to hang out with lovely friends all day, had lunch at the market, shopped in Chinatown, had beer on a couple patios, rode the trusty, ol’ rusty bike around town, saw a roof-top outdoor movie….I mean man, what a fantastic day I must say. Oh yes, by the way it is an absolute relief I have finally got a bike. This city is simply too big, plus my thighs could use the extra burn. It’s pretty much the smartest purchase I could have got for living here.

So Toronto weather definitely cannot make up it’s mind, but at least I have made up mine now. I will stay put, for a while yet. Living in this place is incredible. I love it!!! Australia who? (Just kidding, I still miss it, ‘heaps’ and the boy, mates, wine…. sigh).

At last settled, my life can be more relaxed and fun now. Perhaps this is why I am enjoying life here so utterly, why I find it so incredibly bedazzling; because I’m not stuck anymore nor frantic and my heart has ceased the anguish of mourning. I’m moving on and getting by.

I really enjoy my job, despite those loathsome, morning shifts! But I think it’s some of the most fun I’ve had working, also a lot of hard work. I sweat buckets and have to concentrate on the job for it’s bustling and I can appreciate that. There’s six great venues, all quite unique and the crew on board I have the pleasure of doing business alongside are wonderful people. I love my house…. a home, at last.

My flatmates and I have been working on this transition for weeks, but it’s almost there. We just need one more couch and a barbeque. We have nice furniture and art and I am so lucky to live with this lovely bunch of coconuts in our three storey hovel. We have a garden, we are planting too, so you see it’s all so very exciting really when things and people come together. I hang out at home alone often, I like being domesticated, it’s cosy. And it’s so nice to have those off chance evenings with everyone home at once so you can make dinner for each other; it reminds me of family, way back when….

There are a lot of great events going on. Conventions and festivals daily. Even just going for a stroll to the park there will probably be a cheese stand or garage sale or parade or party happening. Communities here are very industrious and motivated. Nearly everyone I know is an artist of some form and lead busy lives, between work, their music or art or what have you, maybe children to take care of too, atop with a social and cultural life to come play and discover, it’s no wonder this city is so vibrant, people like doing stuff.

Recently witnessed a concert with major musicians that invigorated my bones. Tom Morello, Boots Rilley, Trent Reznor, Dave Navaro and Perry Farrell all on the same bill at an outdoor amphitheatre, you gotta be kidding me! What a fine show, fine night. There are a million exhibitions, shows, events and festivals put on this season. I hope I get more time to embrace them. I will even buy dancing shoes!

Of course being me, typically spontaneous and usually a lusting, hyper vacuum for ideas and fun, I am keen to re-invent myself again, in many ways, (though some of my ideas are nearly impossible, unless I can split myself into two).
I had the best time in Melbourne and had a great livelihood there, but I didn’t do many things I wanted to do. I tend to get rather bored of myself sometimes, but now I’m looking forward to everything it seems, even just being with me. I like going for walks and thinking, reading, observing and soaking in my surroundings. Being by yourself somewhat helps you assimilate you’re travels, well for me it represents ultimate freedom. That’s why I want to see the world solo and meet people as we cross winding paths.

I went vegan for my first month here, staying with a happily married couple who make tofu taste like heaven. I try to eat right as much as I can, though sometimes I still crave a little meat and have eggs for breakfast or milk in my coffee instead of soy, but what a difference from what I was used to before living with the boyfriend, we ate meat often. Mmmm, those 3am wraps he’d make! I can still be good and cheat without guilt once in a while, dabble into fish and the rare steak (but cooked medium!)

My first case for re-invention #101 is getting a proper hair cut. It took over 2 years to grow this long thus far and now I’m too impatient to wait for it to be longer already, so I reckon I’ll go opposite and shave the damned crop. It’s too hot in summer here for hair anyways, so by next week I will have a mohawk, but a feminine-stylish one. I can still get away with a punky cut before I’m 30. Also, my tattoo is booked in for next week as well, my ode to my mark in Australia. The design is of a kookaburra (the laughing bird, it’s cute and vicious, chubby and fluffy carrying grapes in it’s mouth because I adored the Aussie wine so much. Then I am actually going to get fit – ‘ish’. Bike riding is enough, but I’m going back into yoga cause lord knows I could do with some stretches and mental cleansing. My work even hosts a couple yoga classes on it’s patio, sweet huh! I never will be a gym girl though, it’s my testament against camel toe spandex and smelly work out rooms with ‘roid monkeys.

And, last debate for #101 rules, but not the least, I am writing more and want to write for a local magazine. I am adamant to get a paid, part time gig and get some guidance on my writing skills. My journal is my bible and I constantly have urges to get my ideas out on paper. If I cannot play guitar (yet) then my fingers shall strum with ink instead. I’m aspiring to photograph everyone and everything too. Coming to new places and seeing things for the first time through new eyes makes everyday simple objects look beautiful. A sign, people walking on the pavement, friends making silly faces, a rubbish bin with over flowing junk, I want to capture it all. I was riding through the city yesterday with my camera swaying from my handlebars just taking random, passing-by shots in motion. Undoubtedly they were a series of blurred action and background, but I enjoyed the concept. Plus it didn’t seem creepy and invading on the public if I could whisk by in a clever effort to shoot them going about their affairs unawares
.
I’m want to paint and explore my creativity, for something resides in and I don’t know what it is yet but I’ll sure feel good when it’s been excised. We have a little solarium that would be perfect to splash out for arts and crafts! Maybe I will even try to learn another language. Where can I buy all of this time I have not a got a clue, but it’s all a great idea indeed.

Tomorrow I’m hosting a Book Club/swap that will entertain us readers and winos bi-monthly. My fantasy is by the next one we would have finished our chosen book and have swapped with others for their recommendations and have more people join us. How convenient and a bit sweet. I’m such a sucker for making dates, like I also want to start a Monday Poker night/barbie every week for those close in the neighbourhood.

Yeah things looking up, I’m very happy here in my new home. I will visit Vancouver next month to say hello because I am overdue and miss loved ones, but I think I will reside in Toronto a bit longer. The shoe kind of fits right now….
Goodness I’m even smiling to myself incessantly listening to the heavy rain drops, weird!?
Till next time Cheers!
© Tabytha June 17th 2009
tabythat at hotmail.com
Summer in Toronto
• Tabytha Towe

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The Value you put on your self is the value you are taken for…

483622_383858974972080_100000439419317_1350227_1615026798_nWords of advice my mother gave me so many years ago, it took we a long time to place a value on me, and how you feel about yourself is how others will feel about you.

How are we born with a lack of worth? We may have loving parents, not want for looks, have some smarts, natural instincts, but still in it all we still feel unworthy of anything good happening to us.

Why? What gets in out way and why do we battle to please people in order to feel worthy of their approval? I do earnestly believe that we carry past lives with us, a residual of unfinished business and unsatisfied lives. Our energy is passed on to the next living soul and so are the hopes and dreams and crap.

I believe that each and every life we live we leave an imprint beyond death in which for a reborn soul to live by. It is like being reborn again, new body, new mind, new life, but old data, fears, wishes and energies. If we do not resolve our lives in this lifetime we are destined to repeat it over and over again till we do.

Unfortunately, some of us have this dark side that very often speaks louder than common sense that even has any attachment to ourselves. It is like we are living a double life, one that does not belong to this lifetime but is glued to us and everything we do.

155170_500337399990209_1207599132_nFor some of us, the issue is worthiness, a very common one as for most human beings needing to be valued for who we are and what we do is a lifelong search. It is the root of ALL FEARS and leads to insecurity unreasonable fears, hatred of something or one for whom we have no reason to hate, and anger out of control, physical pains that don’t belong to us, barriers that we can not break and thoughts that consume us.

No one escapes it, in some way or other, it just depends on if you’re last life cleared his or her karma and embraced that life anew without someone else’s garbage. For some, it is an overbearing intrusion on this life. Thoughts that make you think negatively, feelings that don’t belong unnerving one and something unexplainable stopping you from moving on with the present day life.

From my own perspective, it was a long large brick wall. No matter my intellect over that it was just a wall, I could not go through it over it or around it, it did not matter, nothing mattered because it crippled me, it stopped me flat and I could not go any further no matter what. This frustration and not understanding why it was there blocking my way forward in life,  began to make me feel like that I did not deserve to go forward, who was I a nobody, nothing a nobody. Instead of living by my instinctual soul heart and mind, I second guessed everything making myself look inadequate, like the very person I thought myself to be, not the person I am.

When I was in a reading ( card readings) I was instinctual and in tuned with the universe. My power was the energy by a vision that came to me or I should say through me as that is what it does, knowledge coming through me via the powers that be and given to the ones that need to know. I began to look at that and think that was not even me I was just a carrier. I became so detached from life people and living and through many dark days in my life, I have embraced unwillingly the forces that are so strong that they are empowering in an uncontrollable way. You feel almighty all-seeing all controlling like you are the emperor and a warrior and you have the power over life and death.

12770_10152270580640257_412716508_nI knew that I had killed before, controlled many lives, hated and been hated and even been an assassin. I also know that I have been the nurturer, the king lover and nurse, but in those lifetimes before I had to face punishment for all that I had done before  I was not worthy of being loved, or not deserving of respect, only to be feared and dismissed. I know that I have had many of these lives and many times over had to pay the price in each lifetime till the bill was paid.

This lifetime I think I lived more up in the cosmos than down here on earth. My knowledge, spirit and flying soul felt more one up there than here. I lived a double life for 60 odd years, being there whom I really am, strong, wise, loving, giving, and worthy. But here was a struggle always daily, though very few ever knew it. People see what they want to see, because I choose to try to always think positive, they think that you do not know any unhappiness. Too many saw me as strong handling everything, always up never down. So to them, any weakness was a dent in the their allusion that I could handle anything and that my life was perfect. Anything else they could not handle as if they could not cut it and they definitely couldn’t or wouldn’t.

So how did I pay my debt to past society? I first came to terms that I was not wholly living my life and I had to release the past life. How to do this, well you must first find an expert on releasing past lives, there are many with the gift, ask the universe and keep your ears open you will find one. Then you have to be willing to give yourself up to them (for the duration of cleansing) and trust the Gods with your soul.

The person who released me used a pendulum, I lay down and gave permission for her to release my past lives in forgiveness and set them free. I took her a few hours with me constantly running to the bathroom a releasing of past lives toxins. By the time I was released I felt light-headed and it took a few days to realize what had just happened.

1382319_10151769344734023_593082588_nI essentially was a newborn, I was no longer the residual of someone else’s lives, I was now able to truly be me whoever that was to be. The first thing I noticed was the coming down of my brick wall, a space and no longer a wall barrier in my way. I noticed that I was gaining a confidence that had always been a dream of me up there not here. I could face adversity without fear and I was discovering myself all over again.

It is now 23 years later and I am so far removed from that fearful inadequate and nothing person. I have done things that I would never have done in my past life 23 years ago, I am still doing things that I never thought possible of me even now.

My health has changed, as I let the anger, fear, hate and control go, I let ailments go, I am middle-aged with a body who has had accidents and living in the results of them, but where I used to be my health I am in tuned with it and noww my body and I are doing so well it astounds me.

When you choose to release, renew, revamp your life, you let go of what is not yours, not wanted, not useful, and you embrace a new life, a life of hope possibilities, adventures and wonderment. Now you can take a positive life forward with you for another soul to live by with laughter, love and joy in one’s heart and soul.

309298_441684935861893_1836639943_nSo if you are looking to evaluate yourself, first let go let go and release all past lives, environment upbringing and garbage that is not needed in this life, your life your choice in how you live it. But remember, the Gods are still in control of your destiny, your choice is how you travel on the road of life, not where you are going.

Live up to  that value you seek of yourself , you are worth it, and manifest your life into what you dreamed it to be, the Gods will provide all you need as you become ready day by day, don’t rush enjoy your birth I promise it is worth it, I know because I have journeyed it and my life is mine to do with and by God’s giddiness and my positive will, I will be all that I want to be and designed to be for me, I am now living up to my destiny and journeying the road of purpose with confidence and joy.

I wrote this in 2001 and all of it is true today, now I run an online radio station (selfdiscoverymedia.com)hosting and interviewing such inspiring people who had their own journey. I also help people find their path with my lifetime of tools with the S.E.L.F Discovery program

Now your turn, let it go, so you can be……………….
highly recommend

S.E.L.Fyour dreams Inspirations Visions and Aspirations in life.
I can help you find your S.E.L.F by helping you understand yourself and by understanding where you are and what is blocking you and your thought process and the roles people play in your life.

Take a look and let me know if I can help you Discover your S.E.L.F.

I am Sara Troy of S.E.L.F Discovery

Discovery of S.E.L.F.

info@selfdiscoverymedia.com 

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Therapeutic Waters.

Is it the air or the water or just the positive energy here in White Rock? No matter my circumstance I feel renewed and revitalized here. My spirit, which has for so long been taking a beating, is awakening again, my joy revisiting, my inner life force finding its way back into the light. I have left my anger, pain and anguish back in Vancouver and wished that I am able to embrace my beliefs hopes and dreams once again.
I had a dream a purpose and I allowed it to be trodden on and beaten out of me, now in these gentle waters, soft caressing air, I am remembering the why’s of it all and I am being able to walk forward to a more positive realm of my destiny.
People are different here, kinder more genuine and most defiantly helpful. My interactions are softer, hopeful and non judgmental. Is it I that has changed? am I attracting nicer people? or is it truly the air and water here that changed every one to be more positive human beings. Whiterockings will say its there water and air, they are a peaceful lot and truly embrace life’s tranquility. I am tapping into that and because of it feeling my self become calmer and more at peace within my self. Every thing here closes early and opens late, but that is good, means more time to enjoy life and live it.

As I walk on the doggy beach I feel my self being mended, the wind blowing my despair away, life flowing within my veins, and a knowingness is upon me again, I am on the right path with my company, my purpose and my partner, we have prevailed and now I feel, see and know that our time has come to be carried on to the next stage where we can make the difference that we are destined to do from the start of it. This entire struggle has just been a learning curve and some thing for the bio and to prove we are worthy of the rewards that will come to all concerned.

I have got the ability back to paint my future in my mind, I have painted the kind of people I want to know, the integrity and honesty and embracement of spirit I needed in my life. I have been blessed with so many it astounds me.
First there was Linda Limmerny,(air hostess with a visionary husband helicopter pilot Asbjorn) for whom I read for and in turn sent me to Linda Yarmi the masseuse. She gave me a massage (wonderful got to see her again) and sent me to Thomas Moore,(http://www.thomas-moore.com) such a equalized energy man that I came away feeling very well balanced, he has sent me Ingrid (and more to come) and Ingrid has sent me to an other gentleman pertaining to Cyclzone, so we will see what comes of that.
Linda the masseuse also sent me Laurel for who I read for (a beautiful investment woman with a open soul) she introduced me to Mike her business partner for whom I read for but which has also turned out to be the picture I have painted come true (just goes to show, if you can visualize it and want it enough you can manifest it) he is an instinctual man with the Gods pushing him forward as mentor and financial investment advisor and who has been given the vision to make all he touches turn to gold for all concerned, (yes I touched him not dumb) as side from that he has offered such kindness to us at a time of such great need, he is the answer I was looking for. The village approach, not every thing in life is about money, some times it is about helping each other out with what we need, barter, give and take, we have become far to much of take not give and the what’s in it for me, that we have just lost the ability to aid each other and to just simple help one another out.

In the past I have found it hard to except help from anyone as I hate owing anything to anyone and as I am perceived to be strength and people do not like to see my weakness, but this journey has made me except help and not to feel less of a person for it. Another lesson learned, never to late no matter the age, learning keeps you alive and is the reason for living as well as passing it on.

So I embrace with an open heart all the help that is being honestly given and wish to thank all the exceptional people who have helped us along the way not forgetting my Vancouver friends, Jan and Helen and Jess who know what they have done and what the mean to me. Another lady Joanne for who I have not read for yet but will soon, has had a bloody week with car accidents, dog bites (yes guilty), but even through all this she has extended her help and wishes for us, I am in awe of the people I am meeting and wish to thank every one of you most sincerely and to believe that I am there in what ever way for you when you need me.

Yesterday I saw my dear friend Sandy Wintle I had not seen her in 5 years, but we are soul sisters so time does not divide us. Being with her in all that I am is a blessing for she does not look to me for anything but what I am. I miss her but look forward to the near future where I know she will be apart of the trust fund and the balance of my life.

So some think that living out of a van and sleeping under the stars is being a looser, but through this all broke homeless and hungry I have found more of my self than I have in 3 years. My relationship with Bill my partner is truer, my soul lighter, my spirit almost flying again and most defiantly my renewed view of humanity. Even our Kokomo (border collie) is happier, loving the walks on the beach and the adventures we having. Thank you my daughter Tasha for taking our Sative the cat for she could not come on this journey with us.

So we stand by what we say, never give up and never give in and positive thinking = positive living, if you cant visualize it, smell it, feel it and want it, you will not get what you deserve or what you need. So with new days of hope before us, good people pushing and aiding us and the delight of such generous and spiritual people we feel new again and know that we are on the right track.

So from van to million dollar home as a working guest of a stranger who offered us a room while we pick our selves up and make some thing happen. With people like Ingrid who point us towards a man Like Emil who is instinctual and insightful and we hope to do business with, life for all its obstacles is leading us forward to a better day a better life for us and our trust fund which will help many.

Dream it and if its right it will be manifested.

Blessings of life with you all and thank you for my spirit.

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GOOD VIBRATIONS IN WHITE ROCK

There are such good vibes here in White Rock a city of Surrey. It is very friendly peaceful and vibrant all at the same time. We are staying in a bed sit in a home of Fraser who lets out his place to visitors. We have a one bedroom with hot plate, microwave, toaster oven and full fridge and satellite TV. We share the bathroom, but he has separated the place well and we feel very private in our cozy place, and he is a very friendly person and very obliging, it feels good to be some where that likes dogs, it is more relaxing than a hotel. It is a week-by-week thing and we feel comfortable enough to stay another week or more.

IMG-20140606-00055 (2)It just feels right here, we are a block and half away from the doggy beach, which Kokomo our dog loves. From a nice walk on the beach we go for a coffee on the waterfront and watch as life drives by. Then a nice walk up until the last 100 yards of pure hill and we are home again. We have full Internet so once again connected to the world, but feel removed enough from our old life to regroup and regain.

The camping was questionable, sleeping in the van was cozy but if it rained which it did almost every day, we felt confined to the tin can and had to go to internet cafe’s to do any work, so it felt it defeated what we were trying to do, regroup and regain.

So off to WHITE Rock and this very friendly and dogy heaven place of Fraser’s, which I found advertised on Craig’s list. There are 4 dogs here in all, Fraser has 2 of his own, our Kokomo and another guy Peter in transition with his dog a Newfoundland of whom Kokomo is shit scared of, he is sooo big.

So far we have met some very nice people, like Linda and her husband  Osborn who has already introduced us to a business man who shows interest in our technology. I have already read Linda’s cards and she has already got me bartering with a masseuse for a massage for a reading,who also is drumming up business for me and I so need a r badly. They also are reaching out to help us find people who are interested in our technology and set up a meeting for us already.

(Did my massage  wonderful recommend Linda highly, also Thomas Moore energy balancer.)

Yes the vibe is right here, we feel like we are getting connected again here. The walks, the wonderful clean sea air and the lovely walks that renew one. We are at last beginning to feel like spiritual humans again and we have finally walked away from the constant spiral of venture capitalists and insincere people. We have cut of the negativity even though it had its last ugly head raised and got me bad, no matter its only money and I will prevail and with only what we can carry gone forward into the unknown again with anticipation of the new, the positive vibe and the integrity of people who are right for us and where we are going.

Last week a talented lady named Roz Shakespeare, told me of some of my future to come, and the direction we want to go in seems to be the path we are walking towards. Along with the direction another lovely lady told me of back in January named Joanne from Montreal, we at last can see where we are going and that we are finally attracting the right people to guide and travel with us along the way.

So although I am far from friends and family, I am where I need to be here in White Rock amongst the waves and sea air, just regrouping and renewing back into a spiritual human big again. So yes I will stay here for a while, and enjoy the renewed energy and peace that grows within my soul and the true knowledge that is coming to be because I am open enough now to hear, see and feel what is real what is relevant and who is important in walking forward to this new beginning all over again. The never give up and never give in is still in effect, all we have done is a redirect to the road we are meant to be on.

Now we will stay a while and hopefully I will be doing readings right here in White Rock,  at the Angelic Tea Room  1351 Johnston Road so come see us and get some awakening of your own, we all need a hand from time to time, let me give you mine.

Happy travels every one, and if you want to stay in a friendly place in White Rock then come stay here, it is good pricing and relaxing.
Now of to the beach and a paddle.

Sara Towe

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We’ve gone camping.

Well no body thought he could do it but Bill got me camping out of the van. It a 1996 dodge sports caravan and with the seats down and enough padding it is quite cozy, Bill Kokomo the dog all cosy in the van.

We went up to Bunsen Lake, and stayed in the Anmore camp grounds were it has rained for most of the week. We were all right, snug in our bed, it is when you have to venture out for a pee that it get hairy, sloshing across the camp ground to the bathroom or squatting behind the car, one does get wet.

When it is not raining laying in the car with the windows open listen to the humming birds and watching them jump from tree to tree and all that fresh air pouring in arhhhh so relaxing. So nice just to get away and re build our selves and our lives, time out from life and doing some thing you thought  you would never do ever is quite invigorating and renewing.mama-koko

The campground is old, in a lovely location, but has not been updated in a long time. The people running it Linda and Gary are trying to restore it, he works hard but I think that neither of them are peoples people unless you are what they think is expectable. We are not those people, we are a middle-aged couple in transition in life, don’t know where we are going but walking that way any way. We have been up to our eyeballs in shit for some time now, and just regrouping and looking at life from the outside is refreshing. But this couple feels it is their business to place a judgement on us for we do not fit into the norm of campers. The camp would be great but for that and oh yes and the fact the internet does not work most of the time, and you have to go into the laundry room to work on you computer, and the fact all the other facilities are not open to us even though they advertise themselves open all year round.We here that the owner wants to run the place down so he can develop the land into expensive homes, would be a shame as there is no their camp ground with miles and it is serving a national park, I do hope that it does not happen, the locals do not want to lose the place, but are tired of the complaints from campers about the people running it. Other than that, the air and the mountains are fabulous, and if you ignored them it was great.

We did meet some great people at the camp and across the road at the local store were they serve great coffee and friendly smiles. We meet a couple from Germany with their kids, a couple of young men also from Germany travelling through, a local guy  who loves to camp and hike near by, and Chris a resident at the camp ground who not only is friendly but also takes beautiful pictures. They all made are stay worth while.

Every night we play rummy, we are at 5 games to 3 me winning of cause. We listen to music and just let our selves drift. I understand why people camp now, the feeling of just removing ones self from every day life and just being is really good for one. But the lumps in the make sift bed are catching up to us and the snide remakes from you know who. So Friday we go to White Rock and rent a place week-by-week basis right by the doggy beach so another adventures to have.

Business seems to has changed also, instead of us chasing people we are suddenly meeting people who want to help and getting calls from Austria. Removing our selves from the rut seems to have changed our energy for the better, so we will stay out of the city and stay near nature for a while longer so that out souls and spirits can renew and our view of life can change for the better.

So been down and out is not the end of life, it is just a change of direction. Go with the flow, walk with the Gods, walk and take time to smell feel and live life, because we have been letting it pass us by for far to long.
Life is for feeling, for communicating, for experiencing so now I dance the dance of life, and what is meant to come will.

Live and let it all go, you will be surprised what will come.
Smiles every one.
Sara Towe

p.s we are off to White Rock a block away from the doggy beach, that’s are next adventure.

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My daughters Australian journey

Returning to Canada from Australia files: 2008-2009 in review

“Writing, like life itself, is a voyage to discovery.”

-Henry Miller

Landing in Australia I knew immediately there was a special voyage ahead of me, a journey without expectation, though who ever knew it would have lasted that long and with such great conviction. I didn’t expect myself wanting to be there longer than 9 months, maximum. I already had my flight booked for home by a specific date! But that was back then…..

Today I get to write about my precious time spent in that wonderful world Down-Under for what now seems such a short encounter even 15 months down the road. Personal discoveries from it reflect back on observations, behavior, relationships and lessons. I learned quite a few things that I never contemplated ever needing to know before. Unbeknownst to myself (or he,) I got a lovely boy that’s a year strong and cannot wait for when we shall meet again on the same waters. I witnessed stunning scenery of waves crashing and trees surrendering to nature, soaked in beauty of landscape, forestry and oceans that mesmerized my eager eyes for all it could conceive. You can imagine all of the other unforgettable experiences I got to behold in that bewildering part of my life, along the way with some great people. I get to hold on to Australia with fond memories, at the things I may have leapt at, the places I may have wept over, and the friends I have kept at heart.

There is always this heavy feeling left weighing in your gut when you leave a place you love, you always wish you could have stayed and explored more. I have learned important points in traveling, as such in life: that you cannot have regrets, appreciate what you have done, never think leaving or saying good bye is ever the last time, and don’t plan everything in advance as plans tend to change quite frequently. I have probably said a thousand good byes since I left my home country 20 months ago and sure it fucking stings each occasion, and there were so many points of no return when I had planned too far ahead whenst I changed my mind about something.  Back in Europe and Asia, every time I left somewhere, regardless of how much I totally enjoyed it, I knew it was happening and was therefore prepared for it, as well as going on to another exciting place. It was less of a blow to the stomach when you had somewhere new to look forward to. However, leaving Australia which became my beloved home of 15 months, I could never have been ready to leave, especially saying bye to the person I love. It just never occurred to me that I had to go, it never really hit me till I got off the plane in Canada. Once more, it was sad, as always, but this time recovering took more than just after shock and new adventure to seek.

Two weeks after my departure and having embraced this arrival to familiar land that now seems so foreign to me, the weight in my gut had at least subsided, for the most bit. Every once in a while though I still get that wrenching gut rock, (and no, it isn’t gas, just a little emptiness.) It’s not so much sadness anymore, for I know I will go back one day and that I will see my bub again, all in due time. I mean luckily I have trained myself to adapt easily and I’m fortunate to have this opportunity to live in another fantastic, destination. Although that weighing sensation of the ‘missing’ part makes my tummy grumble sometimes, I know I will succumb to feeling relief too and everything will sort itself out and turn out great, eventually.

I missed a lot of important events in my friends and families lives back home in Vancouver whilst I was away – 5 babies, 2 more pregnancies (in the making,) 4 marriages, a divorce, my mother and brother moving, my sister’s becoming of age and her debut production, a whack load of artists’ openings and shows, all of this stuff that’s a BIG deal to them and to me. – So of course I felt like a selfish traitor who wasn’t there for them as support, help, or to celebrate their joy and success. I acknowledge that one can’t be everywhere at once, but it sure does make me feel shit. Sorry guys!

Guiltily I already miss so many things about Melbourne and Aussie culture now, is that so wrong? I definitely notice the little things, like a rendezvous after work even at 3am when bars stay open late, my boyfriends smell on the nape, the brands of beer on tap, seeing possums squirrel up trees instead of actual squirrels, listening to Cold Chisel and thinking the lyrics are wicked, and in the evenings seeing the mystique of bats wisp overhead (which to me was kind of romantic!)

I am currently in Canada again and it seems so surreal, even the accent I grew up with my entire existence now sounds bizarre to me, like, do I really sound like this too?  I was obviously biased before and today I am more used to Australian accents than my own voice. In Aus I loved it that people thought I had unique pronunciation. For instance people often asked if I was Irish!? For fucks sakes, me!!!! What, with my boring and nasal voice? Thanks for flattering me (stupid,) but it was nice to think that others thought my accent was exotic, as if a novelty at times. Now I’m bloody ordinary again.

Actually, I am in Canada but not yet even home. Allow me to explain; Due to my guilt and lust for change I decided to come to Toronto, Ontario, first, about 3 provinces (or states) away from my hometown. *In editing this article, I later confirm that I have been away so long that I surprisingly know more of Australia’s states and capitols and even where the Great Dividing Range is and between what sea the North lyes on and whom founded New South Wales when; yet I forgot that Ontario is in fact 5 provinces over, east of British Columbia, the ground where I damned well lived for 24 years. Oooppss?! * Reason for coming here when people were asking me to come back to Vancouver, B.C.??? Hmmmm, pretty easy. I still have a hefty debt on my credit cards from Europe back in 2007!? Unfortunately they can catch me here as well, so I’ll have to face that music sooner or later, (more like a violin at that stage.) Low and behold, the main event was that one of the weddings I was away for was of a close friend (no offense to the others I missed) and she had moved here with her husband. Thus, I decided I should stop by on my way to Vancouver and surprise her. Her husband and I had sneakily started this operation behind her back a while ago and gratefully with absolute success! I was impressed he kept his end of the bargain, holding a secret such as the likes of myself showing up on your doorstep can cause dangerous reactions…hers was magical.

Admittedly I wasn’t so ecstatic the first few days, I was lethargic, emotional, had flown for over 36 hours from Melbourne to Abu Dhabi to Canada and hadn’t had any fresh air for the duration. I was pretty miserable and tired and I wanted my boyfriend with me. But to see an old friends happy face was worth while the trip. It’s nice to be re-united. One week in I had alas dried my eyes and seen potential. Hence, I have officially taken upon decision to stay here for more than just a short visit. I’m going to make the effort to make Toronto another, new home…..for now.

This land is known to me in Canadian culture by language, color of money, trees, weather, government, etc,. but Toronto is quite different to Vancouver in many aspects, ie: the wind here is atrocious. You have to watch your skirts ladies! Everything here still seems so nostalgic to me. This sensation is hard to determine, often between thrilling and confusion one could say. (Forgive me I’m still in a head space of being somewhere else across the continent.) Both being huge cities means they have much multi-culture and business, they are busy and bustling with life, but here has a bigger night life (thank goodness!) and there has more water and mountains, I find. For instance, Vancouver has over head “sky trains” and Toronto has “street cars”, which is annoying because every car is on the street so that kind of seems like the same thing (would prefer to call them “street trains”, makes more sense.) In Melbourne, as fore mentioned in previous pieces, they are called “trams”. I don’t know who came up up with all of their titles but “sky train” sounds self explanatory at least.

Toronto doesn’t seem to be affected as hard by our recent battle with recession as Vancouver apparently does this moment, as I have heard trying to catch up with Canadian affairs. I know it will be hard for me to recognize aspects of it when I finally do return home -for however long and whenever that will be. The economy will be high and low with the roller coaster affect, the infrastructure will have drastically changed, there will be new transport systems and more expensive condos in development and renewed lanes added to the relinquishing “Sea to Sky” highway for the goddamned Winter Olympics coming up! (I know the renovations and changes will make some things safer and better our real estate eventually, but I preferred it when it seemed like the place I grew up in without this new found greed.)

Also, my social, domestic and work life will be unfathomable. I was in to working hard at my jobs every single day, riding my bike, going to yoga, staying up late, walking my family dog at the lake, having tea at friends houses, going to shows, paying rent for my own room; all this stuff that will now be all about playing with wee babies, trying to get work, a home, basically finding my foot again, just to reacquaint myself and start over. I will need to work my bastard arse off in order to prepare for leaving again within the year…soon after I have settled back in to a comfortable life again no doubt. Ironically, I seem to have grown accustomed to moving by now, I can’t seem to be in one place for too long and rather enjoy the challenge and pressure of re-establishing. Strange how I managed being contempt in Melbourne that whole time, it must have got to me. *Mind you it was only 15 months and I moved around a fair bit.*

I really do want to go to Vancouver and see everyone and give them big hugs and sloppy kisses! Nonetheless I can’t wait to browse through my beloved treasures that I have yearned for and earned over the years, like massive boxes full of music and books and films, old photo albums, the art work I had collected, hot boots and gorgeous coats! I cannot hesitate to re-train my legs and balance to skate again, to walk down my favorite streets and bump into people randomly then have coffee and a chat. I know it will be amazing to be home, but I reckon Toronto is a good place for me to be at right now, it suits me. And so far I already have a job lined up at an iconic establishment with 6 venues all very popular and pretty, damned cool! (Thanks fake hubby!)

Regardless of missing Melbourne and Vancouver, friends and family, sleeping on a couch that hurts my back and remaining utterly broke till I gather more shifts, my time here will be absolutely rockin’ soon! It only took me 10 days to finally realize it.

So enough of me blabbing about my being in Toronto, there will be more stories for that in future. I am supposed to write about the prior to coming here. Re-cap from the recent, past travels: Sept-Nov 2007 London, Bordeaux, San Sebastian, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Dublin; Nov 2007- Jan 2008 Hong Kong, Macau, Thailand; Jan 2008- April 2009 Australia!!!!

As I have already written a few pieces on ‘hackwriters’ about coming to the island country in the new year of 2008, I will just give it a quick re-introduction of arriving in Australia on January 16th with a few adventures and miss-haps, then continue on from May, 2008, where it all changed.

Brief montage:

-Toured out of a special van appropriately named “Shelby” with an old companion of mine – hung out in Sydney –  drove to Narooma and Maruya eerily adjusting to driving on the other side of the road – from there drove through little towns and beautiful forestry in between – went to Tamworth and begrudgingly lost my drivers license at their annual, country music festival – couldn’t find job in Byron Bay and realized I sucked at surfing anyway, so moved to the city of Melbourne touring back down through the whispering coast – continued to live out of the van around town then at last bedded at mates’ houses – went to a couple more crazy, fun music festivals – got a job, lost it after 2 months because season was slow – said bye to fellow companion who was going to Turkey – couch surfed more – suddenly found 2 jobs and worked everyday between 4 venues – moved into house and even got my very own bed after 8 months of travel without a proper one – finally made some new friends – thought I had cancer and stressed out about near death – met and very shortly after said bye to another companion who was also going to Turkey (common theme it appeared) – worked more – stressed more about cancer then finally got good results back months later – went to a lot of bars, read many books – acquiesced to my attraction for my boyfriend when we drank scotch together though tried to deny it as we were work colleagues – kept the relationship secret for a while until we both knew we were an official item – dauntingly fell in love with him and with Melbourne so ripped up the plane ticket back home – partied and worked a lot of the time – went to more music festivals – went on a few holidays with the beau- stayed in Melbourne for an extra 5 and a half months – somewhere in there went to New Zealand with my brother who visited over Christmas and had an absolute blast with him – cried when I realized my time was once more expiring and couldn’t afford another visa to ensure staying – made a list of things to do before I left – gave my farewells to friends over last cheers – kissed my boyfriend farewell crying my face off heart broken – then came to Toronto, surprised my friend and the rest is history – –  but still in the making….

*I really should write a goddamned book about all this one day, cause all of these chapters dictated so many emotions spiraling turmoil and compensating bliss.

I lived around for a bit,  then finally settled in a suburb called Northcote for a while that was really cute, basically in the middle of High St and Brunswick St that were pretty happening with cool cafes, shops and bars, big music scene too. I had great jobs with great people and had some great flat mates to share my quaint house with. Except that all turned out differently when I met my lover whom I hadn’t yet figured out would turn out to be more than a short term fling. I began staying at his house more and more for we slept together almost every night. Since my place was farther away it cost $25 in cab fare, seeing as how we worked at a late night bar and public transport was over by 12 or 1 am, (when taxi companies charge 20% more,) so eventually I just never went home. Soon enough I got asked politely to move out of the Northcote hub since I wasn’t there enough, which in retrospect was totally fair. I was only meant to temporarily live with my boyfriend back in North Melbourne (a suburb very close to the city that I used to live in at one point before.) It was supposed to be just until I found another room up for grabs. Apparently neither of us really had any intention of living without each other, so I made myself at home with him, and yes….his father. Shock, horror!

Now I haven’t lived with a parent in 6 years, so you can imagine it was not what I had anticipated my fate to be in the end, moving my suitcase and surfboard in to a parents house, (the poor surfboard I never got to use much anyhow.) Although I do have to say living with a father and son wasn’t so bad. The dad became a friend and he accepted me as part of the family and I am still so flattered and grateful for him letting me stay there. I wish I could have done more for him in return other than a cleaning a few dishes, sweeping the floor once in a while and offering the odd wine here and there, although I did keep his son happy!

There’s a bonus for the dads’ career which meant he got to go overseas for work 6 months out of the year, which was a bonus for my boyfriend and I to practice having our own space with each other. We do make a good domesticated team, I would live with him anywhere again. And when we weren’t playing house, making elaborate dinners, snuggling together watching “Californication” or “The Simpsons” or “The Sopranos” whilst drinking gorgeous wine from the cellar at my work, we would have some outrageous gatherings that included mandatory, drunken debauchery. The games we played were some fan-fucking-tastic times I tell ya! I finally learned the rules of Texas Holdem and am now a huge fan of poker nights. We’d make up card games with stupid rules with harsh consequences and hilarious debate, or even make up games on the spot just for an excuse to hurt each other and guzzle alcohol rapidly, all for a good laugh (remember ‘slap/drink’, anyone!?) For a while there I don’t think I slept before sunset, regardless of work in 3 hours. I probably shouldn’t admit that but I still managed to wing it because I am a professional, even as a tired, hangover case. I certainly devoured a small villages’ weight-worth in beer, demolished an entire grape vine of all the wine I swindled, and consumed countless amounts of copious shots! But, I still remember all of the shenanigans quite vividly, and I’ll have you know I only fell down on maybe 3 occasions (that I know of)!? Australia turned me into a graceful drunk, ha!

Needless to say living in North Melbourne was a lot of fun and it was also extremely cosy, you wouldn’t often want to leave it. The neighborhood, the houses, it’s just a good place to be. I even sort of miss in-a-distorted-sick-way, catching the #57 tram into the city. It wasn’t great when you had to do it, but now I appreciate it was there. The tram system was exceptionally convenient. Having taken the #57 at least once or up to four times a day I got to see a lot of characters on that route. You don’t see nearly half as many homeless or junkies in Australia as you tend to do so in Canada, but that’s because we are closer to the border of the USA and South America, so have more street drugs and cheaper drugs and the bums are usually in a closer vicinity together, whereas in Aus they are probably more spread out. Listen to me trying to justify. We do need more homeless shelters/programs in Vancouver that’s for sure, but of course that would take away from the ridiculous, million dollar apartments in the midst of the citys core now, wouldn’t it?! Not totally familiar with the case in Toronto so much yet, but have recognized more of the situation here already compared to places in Australia I’ve visited. Oh yes, the trusty old tram, where you had to keep your eyes peeled if you didn’t want to pay and had to look out for officers inspecting tickets and listen to the junks coughing or yelling at themselves. Those were the days.

Although there were plenty of party nights adrift into the morning, I won’t go in to detail of them. Lets just put it that some places became somewhat second homes, these local watering holes were. They became a big aspect of my life in Melbourne in fact, and each place had it’s own glory and unique, bar-stool tale to tell. I have raved before how you can go from busy, modern, old, classic, roof top, outdoor, recycled milk crates, hidden lane way, patio, intimate, popular, music, dancing, art; and with famous cocktails, winning wine lists and 20 beer on tap; any thing or any vibe or any drink or any food you want, can all be found in Melbourne’s’ booming and brilliant industry. I am fortunate I got to eat and drink so lavishly and flavorful, especially having the opportunity to work in some fantastic venues that taught me a lot in wine and food culture and service etiquette ethics I didn’t use in the past. I liked my jobs.Thanks to ‘The Deanery Wine Cellar and Restaurant’, ‘La Vita Buona Wine Delicatessan and Cafe’, ‘Caboose Restaurant’ and ‘Three Below Bar’.

One of my highlights in Aus was definitely up North on holiday with my boyfriend. One of a few many trips we made, sooooo glad we did! On our way we dropped by Sydney for a few days and walked along Bondi beach for the annual ‘sculptures on the shore’ which was an awesome display of artists’ sculptures surrounding the sea cliffs. We hopped a ferry and went to Manley beach which is a really sweet island to visit, a good place to live if you love to surf (aint that right my friend). After all that we flew into Cairns and bussed up to Port Douglas where we stayed in an amazing hostel that seemed like heaven, with our own, quaint bedroom, hammocks by the pool, a cheap bar equipped with a sexy Scotsman bartender, we had all we needed to be happy. In Queensland the weather is always hot, even during the wet season. Due to it’s climate this state hosts a lot of agriculture and farming, such as tobacco, coffee and hundreds of variations of tropical fruit. Many Italian families over generations have taken over farming year in and out. We lucked out in the hot season, because right before we left when the more humid temperatures come in, jelly fish and all sorts of stingers come out closer to shore, so the beaches would have been blocked off. Our timing must have been impecable.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 It was astonishingly beautiful every day we either rode bikes, went to the near by beach that was 4 miles long, sipped daiquiris, slurped oysters, went on hikes, and fulfilled my fantasy to horse back ride on the glistening sand and shore! It was romantic as hell and it was all ours.

We did the Daintree rainforest tour which was absolutely replenishing in every sense. We got to kayak on clear, torquise and yellow rainbowed water, we caught turtles then picniced with old trees silhouetting us with funny dragon lizards running around. With much dismay didn’t get to spot a wild Emu or Cassowary (both very large and elegant, ancient birds that gorge on these big, blue berries that eventually make them sick so that they obtain leaving some food for other wildlife, and then they shit out the seeds so that they plant and grow in other areas of the rainforest! Man, nature is so cool.) We did however get to see a couple crocodiles, but they were lazy in the heat so there was no real action, but the boat ride on the river with the mangroves was worthwhile and I was happy the crocs were protected in their habitat. Within a few months 3 people in Queensland had been eaten however, but that was their own fault really for treading dangerous rivers knowing that crocodiles reside there. Now people are hunting these historic creatures, which sadly is not going to bring their friend back. Mangroves are essentially special, people should never cut them down as they suffice the nutrients in the water and help rebuild life, plus they are quite something to look at (despite their smell.) On another adventure we went on a huge submarine expedition to go out to the wondrous Great Barrier Reef!!!! I was beside myself with anticipation because I am a big fan of coral life documentaries and protecting fish. I was like a fat kid in the candy shop wanting to chase fishys around with a camera in awe. Unfortunately though, my boyfriend and I were a bit too sea sick to scuba dive so we weren’t actually allowed to, so we snorkeled on the surface instead. When we got to our first spot my heart kind of sunk (along with my sinking bottom as I am not the best swimmer.) To my shock and dissapointment, there didn’t seem to be that much fish around and I hoped it would be much more colorful, swarming with eels and octopi and all sorts of aquatic life forms everywhere. If that is the largest barrier reef left in the world than I wish we could exploit more of the problems to help heal them and the importance of thousands of specimens survival. The reef tours are good for educating us at least, there is a benefit, but we are also intruding, and how about over fishing, oil spills and pollution, these affect our seas drastically. But it’s also global warming and other natural causes that contribute to many creatures getting nearer to extinction.                                                                                         It was fascinating snorkeling close to a shark, but there was only one, and a small one at that, so it was somewhat alarming to witness this absent coral life I had pictured to be flourishing in abundance. I swallowed a lot of salt water that day and had to fight-swim my way through opposing currents in the sea, I should perhaps take swimming lessons again since the captain was watching me from the boat cautiously, wondering if someone might have to save this silly ducky paddling back through the violent waves.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                *Please don’t eat sharks or other, near extinct fish and mammals, there is a thing called ‘Oceanwise’ where you can still eat sustainable fish for future. And don’t litter your oceans, pay more respect as we already dump (pun intended) enough of our waste in there as is! That’s all I will say*

Obviously Queensland I hold in high regard. Noosa, another sea side town on another holiday I went on with my boyfriend and his lovely mother and sister, was also a hot and beautiful and brilliant high light. I recommend both Port Douglas and Noosa for a visit. I could go back 3 times a year, if I could.

Another fond memory was doing a long, awaited wine tour, especially as how I find Australian wines the best thing in the world ever, even especially some of my favorite regions were from Victoria state where I was happy to live in. (Barossa valley still my true love, although it’s South West.)

My boyfriend and I pooled money together at christmas for a gift of wine country together. Eventually the surprise acquainted itself with us after 4 months of excitement and we were off on a beautiful, sunny morning going through the Yarra Valley. We were very tired and most likely a wee bit hung over from drinking the previous night, but we were in no hurry to shut our eyes or close our mouths to the tastings we got offered from Domaine Chandon of it’s famous sparkling wines, where I had let down my stubborn guard of insisting I didn’t “do” bubbleys and got convinced to appreciate the divineness of it after so much proclaiming how it just didn’t tickle my fancy. Then I opened up my pallet to more fruits of labour like people use in the white grape varietals and I learned that they also weren’t poison and enjoyed a glass of viognier and sauvignon blanc (but French chablis is still the only one I can drink 3 full glasses of, I find whites too sweet for my liking otherwise.) We got spoiled tasting that award winning, sweet riesling all so rewarding, the spicy hint of black currants in my idol of wines’ shiraz, from Heathcote, and of course we sampled that yummy, toffee nut flavor of port. We were in glory with the tour all to ourselves and got fed 3 meals in one day between slowly but surley getting tipsier (we didn’t like to spit, it would be a waste you see!)

However there was a down point during the day that was heart wrenching. Whilst I was in Victoria Australia suffered the biggest bush fires in history that lasted so long due to spreading winds and harsh heat that it killed over 300 people and over a million animals. All because of a few fucking assholes that were pyromaniacs that started the whole thing on one house, not knowing they’d create a complete massacre across the countryside! Ironically after the fires were completely out, soon later there were a few big floods. Where was the rain during the time it was needed most? Mother nature must be mad.                                           Driving past some of the devastated areas where the fires hit, on one side out of the window you could see farm cattle and sheep grazing, green grass and barnyards; on the other side out of the window though, as if the flames went in a straight, determined line, there were remnants of trees half burnt and stained black, with no life to speak of roaming around, only smoky scents of soot and silent ash on the once, lively forest or meadow or valley or home. This was one month after the painful tragedy and you could see the horrific aftermath in a wink, but on a positive note, Australian people pulled together for the bush fire relief fund and gathered a lot of volunteers, help and charity money to re-build already, to shelter, feed and clothe victims, to bandage burnt koalas, wallabies and pet dogs running from the flames. Hopefully, over the next few years, people and animals can have their lives back in those areas scorned, be able to re-plant their vineyards or gardens, but it will never be the same.

In the evening we stayed at a historical small town that was the bridging road for gold miners, and we slept at a Bed and Breakfast where 7 Priest had died in that house; it was spooky and a dream and i wanted to live in that old character house. When we woke for another wine filled day, this time in the Macedon Ranges, we no longer had it to ourselves but shared the experience with some lovely guests who also shared a passion for “nectar of the gods”. Again we lucked out with pure sunshine and splendid wines, and in the evening after a few more tastings and meals, we went home and managed to polish off a full bottle of port in one go.

Before I left I planned to do some very typical Aussie things, like lawn bowling! I combined the fine game with a final, appropriate barbie no less, so we had beers and snags and bowls all in one day, it was glorious. The bar and the strippers was required to end the the evening in great style and poor taste! Thanks guys for the lovely send off!                                                                                                                                 I also was frantic to get in some arts culture and was able to view a few galleries and art openings days before I flew off. Of course I had to see another footy game too. It was fun though cold out and the beer kegs were turned off too early so all that was available was Bundi – the most disgusting rum in the world that tastes like chemical cleaner – and no doubt my team lost to a close score in the last minute, (the North Melbourne Kangaroos, whom may or may have not made a private, practical joke, sex tape/music video of a rubber chicken fucking a chicken breast to “Ludacris” lyrics, which may or may not have been leaked to press and made the team look like perverts and gave them a bad reputation. Poor, silly fellas!) Needless to say, Aussie rules is a highly energetic, entertaining sport and like all others is very patriotic. Don’t get me wrong I still like hockey and all…

I also had to see a live wombat! That was priority! Considering I’d only seen one as road kill from traveling through woodlands in NSW, I always wanted to see one alive in the wild. If not in the wild then at least at Healsville Sanctuary. I nearly peed myself with excitement and was ready to hop the fence and kidnap the cute, fat little bastard, rather adopt it as my own pet and feed it like mad and scratch it’s belly! But I didn’t think stealing a precious marsupial, one that has the smartest brain of the bunch, would be too kosher after all, I’d probably get killed for it. Platypuses’ and Echidnas’ are ancient mammals, the only ones to still lay eggs and have strange web-like, backwards claws. I mustn’t really explain my joy for seeing these incredible creatures that  one doesn’t get to see in any where else in the world and learn of their survival techniques. Australia certainly does host the most wonderful, bizarre, dangerous and yet cuddly animals, mammals, fish, insects, amphibians, marsupials, birds, you name it, on earth!

My life was really good. I had great work I was rather proud of. I have amazing friends who were always the nicest and craziest bunch to be around! I was in a loving and crazy relationship with a handsome young man who loved me and I him and it was so incredible to live with each other. We had a great thing going and I miss it. Just to kiss his cheek or hold hands, it was sincerely warming. Sleep is not the same without him by my side, and I feel terrible waking without him. We sure did have some good times, didn’t we babe.                                                                                                                                                                                I miss you and loved every minute with you. Await seeing you in a distant land again soon.

I look forward to all of the experiences I’ll have on my own in Toronto, if even lonely without my boyfriend. My new job is brilliant, and already I have gotten to know some of the cities culture by going to an art show, a documentary film festival, a talent show, some really awesome bars, met some rad ass people, what more could I want, this place is full of fun shit to do and see!! When I get a bike at last I can ride this city without a helmut, one of the few, different obscurities I will realm in. I am quite excited now to get this ball rolling, except that right now it feels a little like a ball and chain because I am limited financially and still adjusting to crossing the other side of the street, but whatever, money and direction isn’t everything and I got it good.

It’s nice to be here, and home is where the heart is, if even in spread out pieces.

Go Kangaroos, Canucks and Blue Jays!!!!

Love and kisses, hugs and misses to all of you in Australia, especially to Gil, with ever patience and arms darling. Cheers for the fun everyone else, you know who you are….love you too.

Cheers mates! xox xox xox

Till next time then

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Here we go again another move

It seams that ever 5-6 months we move, always hoping that this time it will be for a while and in the States, but alas another hurry up and wait and move again.
So this time every thing is going into storage and we will rent a place fully furnished so we can move next time from storage to a home in Seattle (we hope for). Moving is a bitch but under these circumstances even more so. Yes it’s breaking our backs moving one box after another, yes it is costly to store yet again never mind the cost of the move its self. But this time we had no choice, we had told the land lady that it would be just for a few months and that is all she wanted, all would have been o.k. If yet again we had not come across an investment firm who did not do what they promised to do and wasted another 4 months of our time. So with not only time wasted but also resources, we have to leave no matter what.
My daughter Tasha has been living with us and now moves into her own place, she is getting the bed etc so less for us to store, she is excited to be living on her own and it is a nice sized bachelor suite, at least one worry of my mind.
Trying to catch up is a bitch, Bill my biz partner and best friend has been working 15 hour days on a project but not only is the money little, it is a slow process and does not put us ahead but forever playing catch up. The only thing good about the job is that it will profile both businesses Cyclzone Tech and Positive Living and we hope brings more business to us, it is a new net work site that features business and people to biz, www.positivelybiz.com For me with what I do because of the fearful climate those that need me can not afford me.(yes I reduced my prices)
But for now the only thing I can afford is to put all my belongings into storage and come Friday next week be prepared to move into the van till some thing else comes up. My age with aching body sleeping in a van will be interesting; I might get a little bitchy, as I do not sleep well in a bed never mind a van. But yet another challenge and I suppose another story to tell in our Bio of how far the company had to go in order to make it forward.

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Burn out and MELT down

I had a melt down, boy did I. All the frustration all the disappointment all the bull sh….t that I have been through in the last 2 years, just came to ahead and exploded.
It is not that I stopped believing, only that I was saturated in anger and stagnation that I did not have any energy left in me to care or walk and inch forward. I am just human I have only so much energy, only so much force in me, I just got used up and felt shat out.
Now 3 days letter after a little sleep and blocking life out completely, I am back ready to fight for what I believe in again and got the fight back in me to move forward.
I suppose that one has to empty out now and again in order to receive the new and replenish ones soul. I do feel better, calmer, still tired but more peaceful and less anxious about my journey ahead.
So if things are getting to you, and your feel the world closing in, just screen, cry, yell, let it out all out, then sleep, forget in order to rebuild, for with the crap out of your system, you can concentrate on all the possibilities rather that the realities that get out of proportion.
Life is a challenge, it is a maze, it is confusion. But if you keep your focus on what feels right even though it is not showing it right now, and keep walking forward towards that vision backed by the positive feeling to guide you.
But if along the way you meet those challenges and they get too much, then remember to let it out before the inevitable crash happens, or if too late, just let it happen don’t apologies for it just let it out, then recoup and move forward in positivity.

This is what the journey of life is about, ups and downs, the real story is, how do we LIVE with them? up or down.

Sara Troy

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