To a New Way of Living as a Single Woman

Posted on April 1, 2002 by Sara Troy

single

2002. ‘In making that choice to be single again I have to live with the decisions that I make concerning myself and the directions I take in my life.’

Change is inevitable, one cannot go on just as it has always been, that is impossible. However, how we react to that change is up to us. There is a book I highly recommend called “Who moved my cheese” by Spencer Johnston M.D. It is a metaphor for how easy or hard change can be.

I am undergoing a huge change in my life. My husband of 22 years is moving downtown with my son and my oldest daughter will only be with me for four more months before she too flies the coup. Then it will just be my fourteen year old daughter, cat, dog and moi. This means selling the large home of course and downsizing to a smaller, but still roomy enough house that can accommodate children and animals coming and going. These changes are stressful in their own right but alongside promoting a newish business and balancing who has what, as well as adjusting to single hood again, it will indeed be challenging. I am also hopeful there will be adventures along the way..

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Only the lonely

Posted on December 31, 2001 by Sara Troy

LONELINESS

Life is a wonderful thing if you have people to share it with. Don’t put off today what needs to be done to-day. Join something…

Every one experiences some loneliness sometimes in their lives, but there are people who experience more than their fair share. The season to be jolly is a time where people feel their loneliness the most. Everyone is talking about this event and that dinner party, and there are some with nowhere to go. These without not homeless people who have a network of friends looking out for each other, but your everyday people who you may work with or live next door to.

155170_500337399990209_1207599132_nLoneliness is not just about a person being alone, but about feeling lonely within their lives. You may have many people among you, but you have this overwhelming feeling of detachment or loneliness. You are not a part of the group, or you are perceived as being full of life and strong and people presume that you have a life and so, therefore, don’t need to include you in their activities. There is nothing worse than being lonely in a crowd, or being lonely in a marriage. You want to shout out that you don’t feel that you belong, but no one would understand or really care. People only want the life of the party around them, it is too much effort to bring someone out of their shell. That shy person who would love to be included, but do not feel adequate enough to interject into the conversation.

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The Citizenship Test

Posted on October 21, 2001 by Sara Troy

I have just written my Canadian citizenship test. It was nerve wracking, I thought that I had it down pat. I studied hard and friends tested me. But with questions like “which province is bigger? Prince Edward Island or New Brunswick? I was stumped.

Vancouver - panoramic view with downtown and Coast Mountains

Now I have to wait two to three months to find out if I have passed and if they want me or not. I have only waited 21 years for this, I guess a little while longer won’t hurt. I do love living here in British Columbia, Canada. There is so much life offered here. New Yorkers may be proud to be New Yorkers but I am very proud to be a Vancouverite. With our picturesque mountains, our many parks and the water all around us giving us an island feel. There are many fantastic restaurants , theaters, movies houses and live band shows. All the famous people who come here to make T.V series and movies love it and there is always someone or something to see. Even when it rains here it is still beautiful, we nearly always get a rainbow.

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Our True Colours

Posted on October 6, 2001 by Sara Troy

My main business is discovering peoples “True Colours”. What is the colour of their personality, their choice of environment and the colour of their wardrobe. The main thing behind this is to teach people how to communicate their personalities by understanding them selves and others. Your appearance and body language speaks volumes about who you are and how you feel about another person. This is all before we speak to one another, before we hear what they have to say and feel what it is they want to prevail to us.

Respect is something we all desire from other people. To be heard, to be acknowledged and to be understood. Colouring knowledge is all about communicating with that respect and understanding of ourselves and others.

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An Extra Day

Posted on September 21, 2001 by Sara Troy

I have for many years wanted to fly business class again and by some fluke it happened on my last trip from England. Flying from Humberside in England to Amsterdam this October our connection was delayed so they had to put myself and other fellow travelers up for the night. This did not worry me; it was one day more of peace before returning to my up in the air life. However another couple that were traveling on a time schedule it was a pain.


I had not been in Amsterdam since 1975, I was put in the museum district at a hotel called “Museum Quarter Hotel.”
It was only a year and a half old and was very comfortable. I went for a walk, but all the shops were closed, and in that area there was in not much else going on after closing. So I went back to the hotel for dinner with Joy and John, both dentists from Grimsby who were going to travel by train to Toronto via the Rockies. After dinner I had a drink in the lounge and played spectator to all the comings and goings. The bar man, who did not drink or smoke, was very pleasant to talk to. He had been in the business for many years and had watched many a person self-destruct. I went to my room and had a deep hot bath and watched T.V in English with Dutch subtitles. 


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The Controlling Fear

Posted on September 21, 2001 by Sara Troy

Fear and how we react to it is ruling our lives right now. Fear affects the most vulnerable. When all you can see is the worst, you have no clear vision of the Good in anything. Fear has taken control.
I think that in today’s environment fear is multiplying at an exponential rate . So why does hysteria spread so quickly?

Why are educated people who have seen such things before so unnerved? We admire survivors in all walks of life who get through events, but how do we ordinary folk find that inner strength? Where are our mighty and brave and strong? Not everyone can be hiding behind the curtains at home.

We are panicking, the Yanks have come out guns blazing (albeit after a polite pause) and perhaps they are blinded by fear and vengeance. Common sense might tell them that bombing will not make the situation better, however much it might make some feel avenged. To me, it feels that that moment when you are in a room filled with gossipers who only want to spread panic amongst us all by placing doubt and fear in our minds. They must love this anthrax scare. Where will it strike next? You, me, or them?
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What makes a woman and who decides?

Posted on September 8, 2001 by Sara Troy

When you look through the ages at style, today’s style can be very depressing. Where did the entire feminine voluptuous woman go?

imagessssI am very tired of (happy) designers who have taken our femininity away from us by making us look like boys in girl’s clothes. Skin and bone duff not maketh a woman, we are meant to have shape. 

Do you remember ladies, when we were growing up, how we could not wait for a bust or some shapely curves that marked us as woman? Now all I see representing us are flat chested boy’s waist, no hips, and gawky legs.

imagesThe big (generally fat) bosses at the movie and T.V studios are dictating that women in the media’s eye should all be skinny with boyish bodies, and the magazines with all they’re airbrushing makes all look so unreal.

Why do women out there buy into this crap????????? Why are you letting some anorexic or homosexual person (no I am not homophobic) you decide whether you are beautiful or not??????? Why are you chiseling your bodies to look like men?? Why is a robust woman considered fat????

Who decides this, THEM OR YOU? You decide your sex appeal you decide if you feel sexy if you feel womanly, not them. If you are a little on the heavy side do what you have to do for your health, a robust woman can and does look fabulous in the right clothes and with the right attitude.

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Getting a new perspective on life at 46

Posted on May 16, 2001 by Sara Troy

family0003I have recently come to a crossroads in my life. The direction that I have taken is very different to what I expected. I am a middle-aged woman (46)with dreams gone by, or so I thought.
 Way back, when I was a wacky young creature with a free spirited and passionate about life I was always full of fun, seeking adventures. Perhaps I was a victim of too many expectations. I was always asked, ‘when will you settle down girl’ or’ when will you get a real job?’

Sometimes we live life by those expectations, and don’t trust in our own instincts to just be. . . Your parents lived life that way, so why not you? But were they happy? People expect us to be something they believe to be normal. Their expectations came from their parents and so on, and society dictates the same.

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Starting Over At 45…

Posted on October 6, 2000 by Sara Troy

What I have missed while bringing up kids.
I am a mother of 3 wonderful children who are 13, 17, 19 years of age and I take motherhood seriously. I have been there for them since they where born and will always be there for them, you cannot take motherhood out of a mother, it is there for life.

It has come to my attention that while I have been bringing up my darlings that another life has been happening around me that I did not know existed. My brother who has traveled the globe is writing an article about Vancouver for a US magazine and I discover he knows all the little haunts and unusual places to go in this great town of ours, and I have been here a lot longer than him.

My life has consisted of schools, dance lessons, sports, kids friends and ferrying kids between all.
My own social experiences have been, most logically, and almost exclusively around other mums lunches. Aternoon teas are with the kids at the end of a walk and kid related school meetings. All very exciting at the time, but after some years one forgets about being a woman who loves to go to the theater and who once loved the night life at one point in time; you simply are just are too tired at the end of the day to even think of it.

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English Pride & Prejudice

Posted on September 21, 2000 by Sara Troy

107449569_louth_301713cNo matter where I lived, I retained my British heritage. I was raised in England until the age of 14 but my Britishness was well established. I have lived in South Africa eleven years and now in Canada for 21 years. I have travelled to 24 countries. My accent, which is as little mixed, still has a strong British tone to it. I have up to now, always been proud to say that I am British. I say up to now because having just returned from England and I feel very disappointed by the state of things there.

What has changed? England was always a place of honour and integrity, “a mans word ” and all that. Now what I see is a country in turmoil. Where one is not allowed to be a true Brit. Not allowed to be proud and in some cases a second class citizen in their own country. Is this a bit strong? Yes, but from an outsiders point of view, this is what I see. Why is this? The government appears to support any other country but not their own? If you are a newcomer you are made welcome but are left to rot in B&Bs paid for the by British taxpayer. It seems that they are trying to destroy the morale of the farmers and get rid of the seniors and leave the youth illiterate and disadvantaged in the workplace? (Yes boast every year on how many have passed their exams). Where do I get my information you ask? I hear what people are saying. I read the papers. I talk to people and hear their fears.So why do I keep going back to England you say?

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