How long I’ve waited…
for inspiration, guidance, and creativity to flow…
feeling disconnected, cut off from source –
reinforcing the experience, keeping myself stuck in the loop,
through choosing the thought of separateness…
Days, weeks, months, years –
I’ve remained in various cycles –
of frustration, boredom, guilt, depression –
as though “some day” things would change –
as though “some day” “something” would happen,
putting an end to the experiences I found displeasing,
opening a door to a life where everything was rosy
and things would go the way I wanted –
even though I was nowhere near clear on what exactly that was…
Intellectually, I knew…
I had to be the one to “take responsibility” –
that nothing would change to my satisfaction on the outside,
until I took control of the fundamental change on the inside…
Yet, I still waited…
For what, I wasn’t sure;
a bolt of lightning to hit me?
the gods to descend from the sky?
an angelic presence to enter my life, complete with halo & wings?
I knew, through studying the teachers of success,
I had to be the one to take action;
though in what direction?
How could I move forward,
when I didn’t know exactly where I was heading?
How could I productively channel my creativity,
feeling disconnected & uninspired?
…
The synchronicities attributed to being “on track” were few & far
between.
Yet, some guidance came too evident to be ignored –
some path standing out so clear-cut,
I couldn’t help but be drawn to walk them…
It was such direction at a time of bewilderment,
leading me to Neil Donald Walsh’s “Conversations With God.”
Upon a complete immersion of the first book, listening in audio,
the words rung powerfully true –
so greatly, they could not be ignored.
In these moments of spiritual healing,
the Truths’ power carried through my entire being,
having an effect I could, and can, not describe.
Though, despite the glimpses of enlightenment provided through the
wisdom,
I quickly found myself back in the same old place –
feeling anxious, disconnected, uninspired;
awaiting some amazing miracle to transform my life,
with no effort on part of my own…
…
Craving the type of guidance Walsh had channelled,
and being told time & time again I needed to tune into my own “guides,”
I played with the idea,
“Could I, too, have a conversation with God?”
“Would answers present themselves in an unknown voice,
if I simply asked?”
Such an idea seemed almost silly –
so far out of our culture’s belief system & possibilities.
Yet, with my mind still partially closed, I tried.
Waiting for answers.
None came.
And of course.
After all, what had I expected,
a deep, roaring, resonant voice sending shock waves through my body?
Nonsense.
And so I carried on.
Back to the norm –
“Blocked.” “Uninspired.” “Disconnected.”
Such thoughts producing the experience.
Focus on those feelings keeping them alive.
And so went the cycle,
round & round.
…
Throughout this journey,
back & forth within the confines of this reality I had created for
myself,
the need for rest, stillness, and BEING called strongly.
For the most part, I went along –
busying myself with activity,
buying into the belief in action as the key –
only to hear that silent voice shout more loudly.
Eventually, I gave in –
allowing myself the rest & healing my spirit ached for.
The reward –
a sensation of euphoric, blissful pleasure & release, gratitude, and
peace –
countering all the negativity I’d been carrying with me for decades,
bringing a satisfaction far beyond anything material could provide.
Yet, to keep in line with my beliefs,
and to return to the comfort of the uncomfortable norm,
I allowed myself to slip back into the closed loops –
feeling guilty for not “doing” enough or being “productive,”
fearful of the consequences of “slacking off” or being “lazy;”
and so the cycle repeated –
“Uninspired.” “Blocked.” “Disconnected.”
Deaf to the guidance of spirit –
“A victim of my own closed beliefs;”
etc, etc, etc…
However,
sometimes it only takes a single thought to break a pattern,
sometimes we only need entertain an idea,
to see through into a new realm of possibility…
…[Shift]…
What if instead of waiting for inspiration,
I were to acknowledge it can only come from within –
and that coming from within,
it must be there the whole time?
What if instead of starting a conversation with God and waiting for an
answer,
I were to imagine how it would go, filling in both parts?
What if instead of thinking God’s voice must come from outside of
myself,
I embrace myself as part of the whole, and the whole as part of myself –
erasing the mental division between God & myself,
allowing myself to experience the God in myself?
Considering my experience in the light of these new perspectives,
an opening appears.
Allowing myself to think not in logic, but curiosity,
imagination reengages,
and God reappears.
…
I’ve been stuck in loops,
created by the mind;
not the imaginative mind –
which is above & beyond all limitation –
but the rational, restricted, analytical mind which constructs all
limitation.
In asking the better questions,
a gap emerges in the rational mind –
allowing space for imagination to emerge;
and in that space,
God is present.
If this is all One –
we are God, and God is us…
Guidance must come from within,
as there is no “out there;”
separation is all an illusion…
We can never be “disconnected,”
for we are that we’d have ourselves to be disconnected from…
We can never be “uninspired,”
for we are always “in-spir-it” –
there is nothing else…
We can never be “blocked.”
for that we’d see ourselves as blocked from , and the block itself,
are nothing more than different parts of ourselves…
If God had an appearance, what would it look like?
Everything we can & can’t see…
If God had a voice, what would it sound like?
Anything we imagined it to be…
If God were to speak to us, how would we know?
We wouldn’t – unless we opened to
accept every voice not originating from our rational mind as his
manifestation,
every sight before us a reflection of his infinite forms…
Let us imagine what guidance shall look like,
and that’ll be it –
put it as anything separate from ourselves,
and we’ll miss it every time;
paint it as part of our experience each step of the way,
and there it is for our heeding…
Let us imagine what God’s voice shall sound like,
and listen to that voice as we call upon it.
Add the belief it is outside ourselves,
and we’ve created a voice we shall never hear.
Open to the possibility it is within us anytime we wish to talk,
and give it breath through through allowance…
If God it The Creator of All,
having birthed us, supported us, and is forever within us,
breathing life into everything around us,
then what is God but imagination itself?
If we were to limit ourselves to a set definition of what God is,
how would we ever know its presence?
If we had set expectations for its form,
how could we ever recognize its nature in everything,
not realizing this One-Is-All is Us, God, and everything we’re not?
If we were to imagine a conversation with God,
would that imagination not be his momentary expression?
If all around us has been created by God,
has it no been channelled through the imagination of men & women,
no different than ourselves?
Have we thought so little of ourselves,
refusing our worth to receive God’s guidance,
because it is actually the voice of our own imagination?
Or have we dared not to speak it,
fearful of the backlash from a society unaware & resistant to the
Truth that
God’s power lies solely within ourselves & our infinite creative force?
…
It would seem we humans have some type of existential amnesia –
continually forgetting who we truly are –
repeatedly falling asleep to the reality of our own Godliness,
allowing ourselves to be spiritually blinded,
cultural beliefs obstructing our own light…
It would appear we’ve become insane,
ignoring the wisdom of the ages,
which has provided us all the counsel we would need;
distracted by the ego’s desires for status in the material world,
which have kept us chasing alluring illusions;
turning on one another out of fear;
waging war on ourselves without reason, out of confusion…
It would sound unimaginable, sad, amusing, and ridiculous
to hear how much suffering we’ve put ourselves through –
clinging to problems that have no existence but in thought;
struggling to win battles that have never been;
striving to be that which we are not…
In those moments of clarity,
it all makes sense.
At the point of integrity and holistic completion,
there are no questions, challenges, concerns.
Upon realization this is all but a dream, a holographic matrix –
we are free of the distance & time restraints of a contracted
consciousness.
Stepping off the fields of the games we play day-to-day,
into the Unified Whole of all reality,
we infuse with the Truth…
There is nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to be,
but here, be, ourselves –
for we are it All,
and it is All us…
From this space of Knowing,
and of Being an extension of the Universal Life Force;
as well as that force itself,
extending outward to bring form to all that is –
we can begin to play games of our choice.
From a place of trust in our inherent Godly power,
and of having placed our imaginative power in trust of God,
we can redefine all “problems,”
to allow for the possibility of original solutions, blossoming
potentials, and infinite possibility…
…
Throughout our growth process,
we’re bound to get off track –
though in the light of the greater unity,
off-track & on-track are but one in the same…
As we move forward in our journey,
it’s inevitable we temporarily lose sight of the big picture –
yet in the context of everything as one,
everything we can see is but a projection coming from the inside –
therefore, we are not only a part of that bigger picture,
but it is an extension of ourselves…
Colored, shaped, and defined through our imagination –
that all-encompassing power that is God,
taking form in all we see, touch, hear, taste, feel, sense, and dream…
…
No doubt,
my amnesia will surely kick in again soon –
blessing me with the gift of rediscovering my true nature yet again…
Perhaps it’s just part of being human,
forgetting we are God;
in order to engage in this world we’re continually creating –
the integral duality of the universe playing itself out…
from God to man,
creator to actor,
thought to form,
knowingness to forgetfulness,
connection to separation,
awareness to ignorance,
love to fear,
and back again, in the cycle of life…
A new day begins –
which direction it shall go is of our choice…
To continue in closed loops of negative emotion,
awaiting inspiration and things & people outside ourselves to cause
our fulfillment…
Or…
To allow God’s greatness to speak & manifest through us,
harnessing the power of imagination
to break out of limiting definitions,
carrying us to new dimensions…
Choosing words to expand vision,
bringing understanding to that with-out,
through insight into the forces projecting all from within…
…
written by Rok Sivante
http://RokSivante.com
