NUMB.

After a while one just becomes numb to it all. Internally the turmoil proceeds, but its deep breath time with here we go again, and keep trudging forward, but numb to the pain of it all.
I guess I am being tested as to how many hits I can take, some one keeps hammering me. I wish they would understand that it is not only me, but countless of people industries and vibrations that they are effecting by tipping my boat. So I keep getting wet, it does not stop me getting back in the boat.
I wonder if it is more testing those around us. They say they are believers that they can see the picture and want to be apart of it, but as they say the test is in the pudding. Do they stay when things go awry, or do they run? Do they have tenacity to make some thing happen, or do they go to easier pastures just because it does not require faith but just following.
I think I am gathering leaders, those that will build, lead and transpire other lives. I think I have some good people around me who will be a part of this wonderful future of opportunity and possibilities. But only time will tell.
I have to admit, I am tired, this 3 steps forward and 2 back is tiring, especially when you have done it for so any years. But every time I think it is hopeless I remind my self of where my soul was 10 years ago, and even though I do not have the money yet, I am rich in soul, belief, people, possibilities and faith.
This does not always go well with others, as they just see struggle, desperation and to them failure. They do not understand, that in order for us to build this opportunity for others to embrace, we have to keep our focus tight. As it is, our fatigue is getting to us, our bodies racked with pain and blemishes because of all the stress, but our faith is so firm that what ever keeps been thrown at us we have no other option but to keep walking against the wind till the wind decides to be behind us.
I believe that wind lies in the people around us, with their faith in us, the Gods and them selves, we can change it around and lift our feet for the wind to blow us to all of our destinies.
The frustrating thing is that the money is just an arms reach away, but in order to get it, we need money to go and get it. So little for so much, so much for so many possibilities to come into place, so many dreams to grow, so many industries to save, so many lives to change. When one looks at it, the suffering and frustration right now is going to be worth it, even though right now that is debatable. Can my body take any more? Can my stomach take it and can my red blemished face? Do I keep having to reassure every one else that we can and will deliver? Yes, I guess so, and those left when money is in hand will deserve the investment into their lives/projects, for they stayed with the belief no matter what.
We will loose people along the way, it is not fast enough for them, they want to but can’t quite believe enough to stay, their fear takes over, and they want security before any thing else, they don’t believe in us. But for those that walk, there will be others to fill their place, and even though we will have money in hand, they will still have to prove their belief in order to join us. Because with out faith, there cannot be truth, with out truth there cannot be trust, with out trust there cannot be life.
So here we go, we keep believing that all these delays have a reason, the issue is to try and understand what that is. For now just trying to keep my head above water keep positive thoughts, keep focused and most of keep believing, for it will not happen unless my inner core and my outer shell believe all the way, no matter what is around me, I must keep believing in order to make it happen, for that ladies and gentlemen is faith.
Thank you Rok for keeping the faith, you are the beleiver.