Well, it is hard to believe that it is 2004. Was it not just yesterday that everyone was waiting for the world to end at the millennium? What has changed? The war goes on, and if they have their way, could bring the end. Debt catches up, children grow, and we all get older or do we?
No, I am not complaining, just that when you reach my age and have so many changes in your life, you notice things differently. I have this stigma of a larger number attached to my back, I am not John Travolta and Oprah, some turning 50 this year won’t be celebrated quite in the same way. I have so much that I want to do, but, (there’s is always a but,) I have responsibilities, like children, business, pets etc and a younger mind in an older body.
I have decided to try and date again. Yes, I finally separated, and thank God on very friendly terms. We are very good friends and care about each other, but now that we are separated spouses we are better of without each other. There is only one problem with dating, and that is finding someone to date. I remember in the seventies, that is was so much easier to meet people; everyone was so much more open. Now people have become sceptical and mistrusting, I understand why, but it is sad.
When I go for a walk with my dog Kokomo, who is now 2 years old, I find that doggie walkers always nod and smile. When we go for our coffee and treat (which she shares of cause) I find that the smokers are quite chatty but alas being asthmatic, I cannot date a smoker. My work is helping people with their transient lives, so no meeting anyone there; they are not ready for me. I am not a committee person, so that’s out. Yes, I have looked at the E-DATING and so far cannot say I am impressed. So I have decided on a CRUISE.
I decided that I have to put myself in the way of people, not just men, but also a new type of people to socialise with and branch out with. It is very easy to stay in one’s rut when there is none to grab your waving hand to pull you out. So enough waiting time to climb out. Time to move on. Need a drastic change.
I have decided on a cruise to Alaska, anyone been? Would love some feedback. I was going on a cruise for my age plus (49 and trying to hold on) and looking for interesting people who love life and conversation. I have not danced in so long I need to remember how, I have not been at a table with fun light hearted people in so long I have forgotten what it is like. The joy of fun people who like a lively talk about life living and existence would be great.
One thing I would be nervous about is meeting a new man. Does flirting come back? And do they know the difference between flirting and sexual advances? I am not ready to be chased around the ship just yet, he may get frown overboard. Ladies, is there anything worse while dating, than having a drawing horny creep hanging all over you? I must say I do like a man with humour, consideration and a zest for life and a respect for the living. They do still exist, don’t they?
So I am booked, Alaska here I come. On May 5th I will embark on an adventure that I HOPE WILL ENLIGHTEN MY LIFE AND CREATE NEW FRIENDS. I am on the Holland lines “The Voleendon” which I understand is a new ship (built 2000) I will have a cabin to myself, (at great cost to go single) but worth it. I have already purchased one nice evening outfit, this suit reminds me of my mum when she did cruises, a raw silk 2 piece in champagne colour with gold beaded colour. She would approve. Clothes wise I am ready. I am also getting my eyes labored before I go, so as not to look like my grandma anymore. I am tweaking my poor old bod and tuning my mind. Ready I will be.
I am glad that it is not a hot cruise, I prefer a spring cruise, as I am not a swim bunny. I look forward to reading on deck in the cool spring breeze and then meeting people over lunch, dinner, and coffees. We travel up the inside of the coast so I will see spectacular sights, and I will visit the glaciers in all its glory. It will be so nice not to have to worry if anyone else with me is happy, just myself to worry about. First time in 23.5 years, so I will relish in my self-centeredness.
I believe that at mealtime they seat you with your own age group, mine 40-59. This is good as I do not want to be with to young or too old, keep it within same time experience, so as to have more in common. There are 3 restaurants on this ship, each different in size and style. So I can move around a bit and meet new and interesting people. I do hope that they have a juice bar, as I love having fresh juice every day. I also would like a smooth massage to ease out all the getting ready to go on a cruise knots. A swim a day for exercise and walks around the decks (unfortunately without my Kokomo (Border Collie) should all be very pleasant.
Just being there with opportunities to meet new people and to use my time for myself, is very exciting. 23 years of putting others first, as us wives and mothers do, well now it’s, (if even for only one week,) time for moi.
When I was young and single, I travelled a lot. Twenty-two country’s in all. I went from country to country, met many an interesting person, and experienced many wonders. Just to have a glimpse into that again even for a week is great. Though what is very odd is that when I try and think like a single woman again, I find my self-feeling as if I am in my 20’s. I look at men and see then, as I would have then. Very disconcerting. But alas as I move forward, life will remind me of my age and my reality.
So many think that when you become single again, that you automatically want to get out there and grab another man. Or that you are sex starved and cannot handle being alone. Well, the truth of the matter is, that you feel a relief being on your own, and sex oh what a bother, you need a man for that! (Some women don’t) and as for grabbing another man just for the sake of it, no way thank you. I like my own company, but I would like to share myself and family/friends with someone who has the same interest and values and above all treats me with respect. When I meet that person, I would be glad to have him as a partner. It is true that sometimes life is lonely, but to fill it just for the sake of it is not worth the pain or trouble. Read a good book and lunch with good friends.
So I await my destiny and put myself out there in the big picture, and trust in my fate to unfold and my opportunity to come my way, as I believe that all the signs are pointing to this cruise right now. So trust I will and will see how it changes my life.
You never know I could be later this year celebrating my 50th birthday in style, but what is for sure I will be turning the new 40, come what may, so here’s hoping that it will be a great one, and the effects of this cruise will be a happy and lasting one too.
Make wonderful dreams come true.
Sara Towe. aka Troy
2004
meet-sara-troy
