Words of advice my mother gave me so many years ago, it took we a long time to place a value on me, and how you feel about yourself is how others will feel about you.
How are we born with a lack of worth? We may have loving parents, not want for looks, have some smarts, natural instincts, but still in it all we still feel unworthy of anything good happening to us.
Why? What gets in out way and why do we battle to please people in order to feel worthy of their approval? I do earnestly believe that we carry past lives with us, a residual of unfinished business and unsatisfied lives. Our energy is passed on to the next living soul and so are the hopes and dreams and crap.
I believe that each and every life we live we leave an imprint beyond death in which for a reborn soul to live by. It is like being reborn again, new body, new mind, new life, but old data, fears, wishes and energies. If we do not resolve our lives in this lifetime we are destined to repeat it over and over again till we do.
Unfortunately, some of us have this dark side that very often speaks louder than common sense that even has any attachment to ourselves. It is like we are living a double life, one that does not belong to this lifetime but is glued to us and everything we do.
For some of us, the issue is worthiness, a very common one as for most human beings needing to be valued for who we are and what we do is a lifelong search. It is the root of ALL FEARS and leads to insecurity unreasonable fears, hatred of something or one for whom we have no reason to hate, and anger out of control, physical pains that don’t belong to us, barriers that we can not break and thoughts that consume us.
No one escapes it, in some way or other, it just depends on if you’re last life cleared his or her karma and embraced that life anew without someone else’s garbage. For some, it is an overbearing intrusion on this life. Thoughts that make you think negatively, feelings that don’t belong unnerving one and something unexplainable stopping you from moving on with the present day life.
From my own perspective, it was a long large brick wall. No matter my intellect over that it was just a wall, I could not go through it over it or around it, it did not matter, nothing mattered because it crippled me, it stopped me flat and I could not go any further no matter what. This frustration and not understanding why it was there blocking my way forward in life, began to make me feel like that I did not deserve to go forward, who was I a nobody, nothing a nobody. Instead of living by my instinctual soul heart and mind, I second guessed everything making myself look inadequate, like the very person I thought myself to be, not the person I am.
When I was in a reading ( card readings) I was instinctual and in tuned with the universe. My power was the energy by a vision that came to me or I should say through me as that is what it does, knowledge coming through me via the powers that be and given to the ones that need to know. I began to look at that and think that was not even me I was just a carrier. I became so detached from life people and living and through many dark days in my life, I have embraced unwillingly the forces that are so strong that they are empowering in an uncontrollable way. You feel almighty all-seeing all controlling like you are the emperor and a warrior and you have the power over life and death.
I knew that I had killed before, controlled many lives, hated and been hated and even been an assassin. I also know that I have been the nurturer, the king lover and nurse, but in those lifetimes before I had to face punishment for all that I had done before I was not worthy of being loved, or not deserving of respect, only to be feared and dismissed. I know that I have had many of these lives and many times over had to pay the price in each lifetime till the bill was paid.
This lifetime I think I lived more up in the cosmos than down here on earth. My knowledge, spirit and flying soul felt more one up there than here. I lived a double life for 60 odd years, being there whom I really am, strong, wise, loving, giving, and worthy. But here was a struggle always daily, though very few ever knew it. People see what they want to see, because I choose to try to always think positive, they think that you do not know any unhappiness. Too many saw me as strong handling everything, always up never down. So to them, any weakness was a dent in the their allusion that I could handle anything and that my life was perfect. Anything else they could not handle as if they could not cut it and they definitely couldn’t or wouldn’t.
So how did I pay my debt to past society? I first came to terms that I was not wholly living my life and I had to release the past life. How to do this, well you must first find an expert on releasing past lives, there are many with the gift, ask the universe and keep your ears open you will find one. Then you have to be willing to give yourself up to them (for the duration of cleansing) and trust the Gods with your soul.
The person who released me used a pendulum, I lay down and gave permission for her to release my past lives in forgiveness and set them free. I took her a few hours with me constantly running to the bathroom a releasing of past lives toxins. By the time I was released I felt light-headed and it took a few days to realize what had just happened.
I essentially was a newborn, I was no longer the residual of someone else’s lives, I was now able to truly be me whoever that was to be. The first thing I noticed was the coming down of my brick wall, a space and no longer a wall barrier in my way. I noticed that I was gaining a confidence that had always been a dream of me up there not here. I could face adversity without fear and I was discovering myself all over again.
It is now 23 years later and I am so far removed from that fearful inadequate and nothing person. I have done things that I would never have done in my past life 23 years ago, I am still doing things that I never thought possible of me even now.
My health has changed, as I let the anger, fear, hate and control go, I let ailments go, I am middle-aged with a body who has had accidents and living in the results of them, but where I used to be my health I am in tuned with it and noww my body and I are doing so well it astounds me.
When you choose to release, renew, revamp your life, you let go of what is not yours, not wanted, not useful, and you embrace a new life, a life of hope possibilities, adventures and wonderment. Now you can take a positive life forward with you for another soul to live by with laughter, love and joy in one’s heart and soul.
So if you are looking to evaluate yourself, first let go let go and release all past lives, environment upbringing and garbage that is not needed in this life, your life your choice in how you live it. But remember, the Gods are still in control of your destiny, your choice is how you travel on the road of life, not where you are going.
Live up to that value you seek of yourself , you are worth it, and manifest your life into what you dreamed it to be, the Gods will provide all you need as you become ready day by day, don’t rush enjoy your birth I promise it is worth it, I know because I have journeyed it and my life is mine to do with and by God’s giddiness and my positive will, I will be all that I want to be and designed to be for me, I am now living up to my destiny and journeying the road of purpose with confidence and joy.
I wrote this in 2001 and all of it is true today, now I run an online radio station (selfdiscoverymedia.com)hosting and interviewing such inspiring people who had their own journey. I also help people find their path with my lifetime of tools with the S.E.L.F Discovery program
Now your turn, let it go, so you can be……………….
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I am Sara Troy of S.E.L.F Discovery
